The Art of Turning to Stone
by Out-of-Character217
Summary: Leon made a promise a long time ago to protect and look after his little sister and despite his years in prison, that's exactly what he intends to do. Meeting and falling for her new school teacher was just another complication he didn't need. Strifehart AU.
1. Reasons

**A/N: **This little plot bunny came to me earlier this year after messing about with some photomanips on tumblr. I've had quite a bit of this written for a while but because of the old writers block I've hated every word of it until recently. I've now had the time to sit down and properly go through it and edit it, fleshing it out a bit and come up with some semblance of a story that I'm happy with. This won't be a large multichapter; I'm already snowed under with work on SQUF, but it will probably reach about five chapters. It's just a little something to get the old juices flowing again, so take it for what it is and enjoy. Xxx

* * *

"_For I am laden but strong enough,_

_To carry on when things get tough._

_I'm not sure of where I roam,_

_But I know I'll make it home._

_I got reasons…"_

**The Art of Turning to Stone**

**Chapter One:**

**Reasons**

Cloud Strife hunkered down into his duffle coat, pulling the fur lined collar closer around his neck. Five hundred and fifty seven children had streamed past him in their rush to leave Traverse T XIII and standing like a frozen, silent sentinel on the steps of the public comprehensive, he'd watched them all pair off, find their parents and dissolve into the main street; a chaotic mess of pedestrians and slow moving traffic, car horns and squealing children. He looked at his wrist watch and decided to give it another ten minutes. There were always stragglers and Cloud didn't want to miss anyone.

Pressing his frozen lips together he scanned his eyes across the thinning crowd, blinking away stray snowflakes that got caught behind his glasses and idly wondered when the sleet would clear long enough for spring to break its way through. He'd had enough of winter. Checking his watch again, eager to get back inside and start marking his papers, his brows furrowed when he caught sight of a young girl stood waiting at the bottom of the steps. She'd been there for the best part of fifteen minutes and was clearly waiting for someone. Being careful on the grit strewn steps, he made his way down to the sidewalk, only just recognising the girl as he approached.

'You're Kairi Leonhart, aren't you?' He asked, his voice politely inquisitive.

The girl turned, eyebrows creased in mild annoyance before they smoothed out and a friendly smile tugged the corners of her mouth.

'Oh, high Mr Strife.' She greeted casually, turning her gaze back down the road expectantly.

'Are you waiting for someone?'

'My brother, he's late.' Kairi replied, her voice trembling with a note of concern as she turned and looked back up the street the other way. 'He's never normally late.'

Cloud followed her gaze, unsure who he was looking for.

'Maybe he got lost. You're new to town, right?' Cloud heard the girl sigh; her face screwed up in annoyance as she backed up and plonked herself heavily on the bottom step.

'Yeah but he's not stupid.' She muttered, clearly upset at having been forgotten and the last pupil to still be at school.

The crowds had completely dissipated now and only passers-by occupied the streets, the traffic still slow moving in the slushy mess that piled up in the gutters.

Cloud watched her toe the mixture of salt and grit around on the pavement, the tip of her red nose poking out of the hood of her jacket as she slumped down into her scarf, her expression equal parts miserable and unimpressed.

'Well why don't you come and wait inside. You don't know how long he's gonna be.' Cloud suggested, thinking of his coffee pot and the stack of papers waiting for him in his class room.

'If I don't wait here, he won't know where to find me.'

Resisting the urge to look at his watch again, Cloud cast his gaze about, still unsure as to why and what good it would do as he'd never met the girls brother. As he was about to suggest they visit the office and find a number they could call, Kairi stood up, her scowl deepening.

'Where have you been? I've been waiting here for twenty minutes.'

Cloud turned and watched a tall man in black leather weave between the stationary traffic, his face flushed and red from the obvious run he'd taken to get there as he hopped up on to the curb. His brows were furrowed, reminding Cloud of Kairi, and his features were stern, an obvious _don't fucking start_ look on his face as he came to a stop outside the school.

'I got here as fast as I could.' He commented, a little out of breath.

'If you'd just let me go home on my own this wouldn't happen.' The young girl sulked, looking up at her older brother with an intensely displeased scowl.

'And I told you no fucking way.' The man replied, his own scowl even more impressive.

Cloud resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at the exchange and instead cleared his throat, breaking the glaring match that had started between the two siblings.

'Well, seeing as how you're fine now, Kairi, I'll head back inside.' Giving the tall man a sceptical once over, taking in the black leather trousers and heavy boots Cloud made his way up the steps and left his newest pupil to make her way home.

'Sure, thanks Mr Strife.' Kairi called over her shoulder as her teacher left. Turning back to her brother she resumed her scowling.

'It'd save you time. You wouldn't have to come all this way across town just to pick me up.' She began her daily bargaining, resolute and impervious to the deep sigh that her brother made as he placed a heavy hand on her shoulder and steered her in the direction of the subway.

'We're not doing this, Kairi. I pick you up from school, that's final.'

'But it's just the subway, Leon. Its twenty minutes. I can do that on my own.' She wined.

'You're eleven years old. It's not happening.' Leon snapped back, tired of having the same argument day after day. 'Who was that?' he added, looking back over his shoulder at the main doors of Traverse T XIII.

'Who was who?' Kairi snapped.

'The dork with the glasses!'

'Mr Strife isn't a dork. He's my teacher.' She told him indignantly as they trudged through the bitter weather. 'Can I just do it one time? I'll show you it's not that big of a deal. Please, Leon.'

'Enough, Kairi. You're not using the subway on your own and that's it. Just drop it.' Leon raised his voice, grabbing hold of her shoulder to tug her through the thickening crowds as they neared the entrance, the flow of people almost like a vacuum as it pulled them down the steps and into the underbelly of the city.

* * *

Leon snapped awake, his heart hammering in his chest, the pall of sleep he'd been heavily under torn open as he jolted and threw himself forward; one foot landing heavily on his bedroom floor as he nearly toppled out of bed. Letting out a single gasp he swallowed the scream back down and placed a clammy palm over his mouth. Seconds passed and so too did the feeling of suffocating and with a small dry heave Leon managed to push past the worst of it. Glancing at his digital clock he shoved sweaty bangs out of his face and switched the alarm off, the piercing beeping noise making him wince. Frowning at his shaking fingers, he clenched his fist and threw back his sheets, standing in one fluid motion. Pulling his door open he marched down the dingy hall and banged on his sister's door as he passed, rattling the handle for good measure.

'Kairi, get your ass out of bed… got a court date today!' He yelled, marching off into the bathroom. Switching the shower on, he banged on his sister's door twice more before the water had heated up enough, and with a disgruntled ''Mm up!' Kairi pulled her door open and slouched out down the hall into the living room.

Crossing barefoot into the kitchenette she pressed the button on the coffee maker for Leon and grabbed herself a glass of juice from the fridge and waited for her brother to finish in the bathroom. By the time the coffee maker had clicked off again, Leon had appeared from the steam clouded bathroom, wrapped in a towel.

Sipping her juice she flicked through the morning cartoons and cast her gaze sideways watching her brother make their breakfast from under moody and suspicious lids and a deep set frown. In the last year she'd made more memories with her brother than she'd had in a lifetime and quite uninvited, thoughts of her orphanage and her years spent in foster care seemed to replace every normal childhood memory she felt she'd been robbed of. They made her hard and cross and knowing exactly why, she blamed him for them. She was unaware of the details, but the death of her mother and father had been linked to her older brother and the years she had consequently spent in care were entirely his fault. Her young and impressionable mind had cobbled together all it could make sense of and she had been left with a bitter and abiding resentment that she had no idea how to handle. He was all she had, yet she needed someone to blame. She had no idea if he was responsible for all of her troubles, but she was uncaring. He was all she had, and his feet were where she would lay the blame.

Seeing him now was equal parts strange and comforting. She remembered him vaguely from her past. Images and shadows of a much younger boy, smiling and playing with her, a passing shadow of a woman she recalled as their mother and an indistinct haze she knew as her father; hers and Leon's paternity unconnected. But the man that he'd become now was strange and new to her. He was tall and imposing, brittle and changeable. His years spent away had changed him the most, she thought. His body was ridged and tough, scared and muscular and resembled nothing of the young boy whom had been her big brother all those years ago, before their mother had died and everything had turned to shit.

Leon set her breakfast on the coffee table in front of her.

'Eat your toast and then get dressed. We've gotta be at the court house by nine.' He told her, his tone leaving no room for argument. She watched him disappear into his room and felt her mood darken.

'What if I've changed my mind? What if I don't wanna live here anymore?' She called out moodily, knowing she was testing him. Leon reappeared, towel drying his hair, his face dark and unimpressed.

'You wanna go back into care?' He shot back at her, clearly not willing to play her games this morning. He never was. Kairi couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him smile.

'No.' She sulked, knowing she didn't really have an argument for this, but she wanted to try him anyways.

Leon didn't even bother to say anything else. He disappeared back into his room, shutting his door as he dressed and left Kairi to sort herself.

* * *

They made it to the court house, ten minutes late, freezing cold and tension prickling between them as Leon dragged his sister up the marble steps, the hem of his suit pants wet from the slushy snow piled up outside. The only time Kairi ever saw her brother in a suit was whenever they were required to attend court for custody hearings and papers that needed signing and reviews and so many meetings, she'd lost count of the hours of school she'd missed just so that her brother could have full and legal guardianship over her. She didn't really know why he bothered.

Pulling her to a stop outside of court number four, Leon checked his watch for the fiftieth time and scanned the crowd for their attorney.

'You're late.' A displeased voice made them both jump.

The woman was tall and wiry, her blond hair scrapped back into a proficient bun, her round glasses perched on the edge of her sharp, upturned nose hiding none of her icy glare.

'Sorry, Quistis. Have they started yet?' Leon asked, refusing to look at his younger sister.

'They can't start. Not without you. I suggest you get in there.' Quistis said, her tone stern but her features softening as she nodded towards the court room.

With an intensely displeased glare, Leon nodded his head for Kairi to walk ahead of him and guided her into the court room for what was, hopefully, their last time.

'Mr Leonhart, good of you to join us.' The judge intoned clearly unimpressed.

'Sorry your honour.' Leon replied as contritely as he knew how. He ushered his sister into the pews and settled himself in his proper seat next to Quistis, his mouth feeling suddenly very dry, his head pounding from his broken night's sleep. He looked nervously to his left, eyeing his attorney as she shuffled through her papers and brought out her latest report. The whole scenario brought back uncomfortable memories for him, but he shook them off, determined that he would focus. He couldn't lose sight of what he was here for. He'd spent too many years waiting.

Adjacent to them sat an officious looking woman in an ill-fitting nylon skirt suit. Her cream blouse bobbled and greying around the edges where she had washed it too many times, her doughy frame spilling out over the belt cinched too tightly.

'Miss Schuler, I presume you've prepared your report.' The judge asked without bothering to lift his gaze.

The bitch was all that stood between Leon and Kairi and in the year since his sister had come to live with him Rebecca Schuler had challenged him at every turn.

'I have your Honour. And regardless of Mr Leonhart's efforts in relation to his financial affairs, child services still have reservations regarding his record of offending. He-'

'Miss Schuler, I'm well aware of Mr Leonhart's lengthy prison term but we have been through this matter before. Since his release he has complied with all of his parole stipulations. In fact, in some areas he has even exceeded the expectations of his release terms. I remain unconvinced that his criminal record prevents him from being a good parent. Do you have any other evidence to the contrary?' The judge flicked his hand out to the side, an eyebrow raised in anticipation as Miss Schuler began riffling through her papers, clearly flustered.

'Th…there were concerns about accommodation. The neighbourhood Mr Leonhart has chosen for Kairi is far from ideal. It-'

'It is within the stipulated five mile radius of her preferred school, which was your main objection in our last hearing.' Quistis finally cut in. 'It _was_ your demand that Kairi transfer to Treverse T XIII, forcing Squall and Kairi to uproot and move apartments, wasn't it?' She asked pointedly over her silver spectacles.

'Yes, but ideally it would have been better if Mr Leonhart had-'

'It is my opinion that Mr Leonhart has done everything you've asked of him. He has demonstrated that he has nothing but his sibling's best interest in mind and has, at all times, shown remarkable dedication to her fostering. Having taken all of the relevant facts into consideration over the past eighteen months I see no reason to delay this decision any further. All I require now is a few moments with Kairi.' The judge interrupted, his tone firm and commanding as he beckoned with his finger for the young girl to step forward.

With a suddenly terrified look on her face, Kairi slowly got to her feet, her eyes flicking between the towering, imposing judge and her brother, who was looking over his shoulder at her with those strange and steely, unreadable eyes. Coming to a stop before the bench, the young girl looked up at the robed man and waited.

'Young lady, do you understand what is happening here today?'

Kairi nodded, resisting the urge to look behind her at her brother.

'And do you understand the implications if I decide to rule in favour of child services?'

Again she nodded, feeling a strong knot of dread pull tight in her stomach at the thought. All of those years of care homes and foster families had made her bitter, she knew. But after today it would be final. There would never be any going back, no matter what.

'And do you _want_ to live with your brother?' The judge asked, his face turning kind and gentle as he asked her what she wanted.

Unable to help herself, Kairi glanced over her shoulder and looked to Leon, his hands clasped tightly together on the table top as he watched her. Despite everything she'd been through, despite the fact that he'd left, despite the fact that she'd felt abandoned and angry her entire life, she didn't want to be without him. He was a stranger to her, yes. But he was her brother.

'He's family.' She said simply. 'I want to be with my family.'

* * *

The diner was quiet this time of day and the hour felt strange and unusual to Kairi who was used to being in school with her friends. But the opportunity for a burger and a milkshake would never be passed up regardless of the circumstances and she sat and mulled over their eventful morning while she chewed thoughtfully on a french fry.

Leon sat sullenly in the opposite booth, his hand brought up to cover the lip he was worrying quietly between his teeth as he toyed idly with a sachet of sweetener. His tie was long gone and his top button was undone, his gaze cast out into the busy street as he watched the crowd hurry by, his brows furrowed low.

Kairi watched him from beneath lowered lashes, hoping she wasn't being too obvious with her covert staring, and felt those strange and juxtaposing emotions that had gripped her so intently during the hearing. As much as she hated her brother for her shadowed and disjointed past, unknowing exactly the reasons why, she couldn't help but feel a small amount of relief. There would be no more moving. No more new families or schools and friends. This was it. Her life was as stable as it was ever going to get and for that, she couldn't help but feel thankful.

'So what happens now?' She asked around the straw she was gripping between her teeth, her tall milkshake glass balanced precariously on the edge of the table as she reached up to take a drink.

Leon's gaze flicked to hers and he idly reached out, sliding the base of the glass back a few inches to bring it away from the edge.

'We go home.' Leon replied, his deep voice level and serious. 'Carry on like we always have.'

Kairi noted his sombre mood and inwardly sighed. She didn't know why, but she had been hoping that the day's revelations and the judge's decision would cheer him up a bit. She was dismayed to discover that not even the prospect of them being a proper family was enough to bring a smile to her brother's face.

'Well try not to be too happy about it.' She snapped, pulling her drink back to the edge of the table.

'Who said I'm not happy about it?' Leon retorted, frowning even deeper as a bit of strawberry milkshake sloshed over onto the table top.

Kairi mopped it up with her sleeve, ducking her head against her brother's icy glare and dared to push him a little bit further.

'You're not gonna be an asshole about it are you? Cos that routine is kinda getting old, Leon.' She bit out, occupying herself with cleaning the patch of spilt milkshake knowing full well that she'd stepped over the line with the cuss word.

Leon reached out and picked the glass up and slammed it back down in the middle of the table, making her jump.

'Watch your mouth, Kairi.' He hissed under his breath as a waitress passed by. Once she was gone Leon checked his temper, his voice still deadly cool as he snapped at the young girl. 'It's not been easy the last two years. I'm doing the best I can, alright?'

Kairi huffed and slouched back into her booth, her appetite gone now as her cheeks heated with anger and humiliation.

'Whatever.' She muttered, crossing her arms and turning her face away to sulk.

Leon tried his best to curb his anger, dousing the flames as best he knew how and tried to reason with himself. She was just a kid, sure. But there were times when he was certain he was losing control and that someday that anger she possessed, that pure and well managed rage that was so obviously bubbling under the surface would come spilling out and he would burn in the chaos. Unconsciously he tucked that fear back into the dark corners of his mind and he sat back in his own booth, turning his gaze back out the window as he mulled over their morning.

Now that it had happened, Leon wasn't sure how to process it. For two years he had scrimped and saved and jumped through hoops to get his sister from out of that care home. Never once had he resented her for it. It was a promise he had made a long time ago and he'd never forgotten it. Years locked up in a cell had given him time enough to remember.

Looking across at his little sister, sat sulking in her plastic booth, Leon felt a strange affectionate nostalgia consume him. She had been exactly the same as a baby. She'd pouted and sulked and frowned her way to getting most things she'd wanted, and their mother, who had adored her longed-for daughter had gladly given in every time. That powerful sense of protection he had felt as a boy was no less profound as he sat and watched her squirm under his scrutiny and despite what she thought of him, Leon knew – he had always known – he would do whatever it took to take care of her. He'd sacrifice anything – even his freedom – if it meant keeping her safe. Their mother could rest easy on that account. Raine's last request had been all that had occupied Leon's thoughts for the last eleven years; he'd not fail her now.

'I know it's… difficult.' Leon began, unsure where he was taking this but he felt the need to attempt some sort or reassurance. 'It's not what either of us planned, but I promise… I'm gonna make it work, Kairi. Things'll get better. We just have to give it some time.'

Kairi looked down at her clasped hands with faux indifference and continued to sulk, unwilling to concede to her brother and his olive branch of peace.

'Whatever.' She repeated again, clearly drawing a line under the whole exchange.

Leon sighed, exasperated with the young girl and couldn't even bring himself to finish his now cold cup of coffee.

'Finish your fries.' He muttered, pushing the plate a little close to her. They lapsed back into silence as reluctantly, Kairi reached forward and finished the rest of her meal.

* * *

"_I'd dance alone_

_I'd turn into stone for you_

_I'd cry my eyes blind_

_I'd lose my poor mind without you_

_I'd stop all the clocks_

_I'd live in a box just with you…"_

-Saint Saviour


	2. The Third Bar

**A/N: **Howdy all. I hope everyone is enjoying the spring now it's finally here. Chapter two ready and waiting for you. Enjoy. xxx

* * *

"_I hang my coat up in the first bar,_

_There is no peace that I've found so far._

_The laughter penetrates my silence_

_As drunken men find flaws in science._

_Their words mostly noises,_

_Ghosts with just voices._

_Your words in my memory_

_Are like music to me."_

**Chapter Two: **

**The Third Bar**

Cloud shifted from one foot to the other and shoved his gloved hands deeper into the pockets of his duffle coat. He huffed a sigh and watched his breath condense in the freezing air and drift away up into the night, the grit and salt crunching under his loafers as he dithered on the spot and warred with himself; his anxiety peaked and troughed as he almost worked up the courage to cross the street and walk into the bar, only to chicken out and take a step backwards, melting into the relative shadows of the shuttered doorway he was standing in. His face was freezing. The ache in his forehead from the tension lines spread behind his eyes as he bit his lip, the sting hardly noticed.

'Come on, Strife. Just do it already.' He mumbled to himself, squaring his shoulders as if he was actually going to do it this time.

A bike pulled out suddenly into the middle of the road, cutting off a passing taxi cab, the car's horn blared out making Cloud jump and lose his focus. His heart rate jumped into his mouth as the driver leaned out of his window and shouted a string of foul mouth obscenities at the oblivious cyclist.

Swallowing past an aching knot in the back of his throat, Cloud quickly shook himself and huffed out a ragged breath of exasperation.

'Shit. What's wrong with you, just cross the god dammed road.' He growled to himself, gritting his teeth against the numbness in his face and the spikes of surplus adrenaline. 'It's just a bar. No one knows you. Just walk over there and open the door!'

Sniffing back a large lungful of frigid winter air that hit his lungs like a stake, Cloud pushed through the imaginary wall that kept him pinned to the sidewalk and crossed the road on rubbery legs; without even thinking about it he hopped up onto the other side, reached out his gloved hand and pulled open the bar door. The noise and the warmth of the place hit him bodily, almost knocking him backwards as he let the door swing shut behind him and he took those first few precious moments to tentatively look around.

No one glanced up at his entrance and it took a few moments of Cloud physically forcing himself to swallow and breathe before he realised that itchy feeling of being observed was all in his head. He quickly spotted an empty space at the bar. Hesitating a few moments longer, hating that his back would be to everyone and inched further into the room, all too aware that the longer he stayed in the door way the more attention he would bring to himself. Moving quickly and with his gaze averted to the floor he made his way to the bar and squeezed onto the stool.

He took a few moments to mentally congratulate himself, imagining the look on Aerith's face when he told her about his latest accomplishment and slipped his woolly gloves off and stuffed them into his pockets, unbuttoning a few toggles on his duffle coat and loosened his scarf. His heartbeat was still pounding erratically but at least Cloud could now put some of that down to his excitement at having finally worked up the courage to come here tonight. It was something he'd been working up to for months; those weeks of long and circular walks only to pass by his chosen bar had paid off.

The man next to him moved away, balancing several glasses in his hands as he weaved his way through the tables back to his group of friends, giving Cloud a bit more elbow room. The blond dared a peek over his shoulder at the crowded room and felt again that swell of pride that he had actually managed to make it inside tonight.

'What'll it be?' A young girl called over the din making Cloud jump slightly and swirl back towards the bar. His glasses slipped a fraction and he pushed them back up his nose with a fumbling hand.

'Oh, um, just… just a soda, thanks.'

The young girl filled a tall glass with cola and placed it on a beer matt and after the short exchange, sauntered off down to the other end of the bar leaving Cloud to nurse his drink. His nerves now settling he managed to ease himself into the atmosphere of the place and allow his shoulders to relax. As the evening ambled on, Cloud began to enjoy snatching tentative glances behind him, watching the people around him laugh and talk with one another. It brought back memories of a time when he'd been one of them and still, Cloud had no real idea of how he had slipped into this fumbling, anxious, pathetic excuse of a person.

'It's Strife, right?' A deep voice rumbled next to him, making him jump slightly as he turned to the empty space next to him. A tall dark haired man with a very distinctive scar across his face stood over him.

'Excuse me?' He managed to choke out, a sudden spike of anxiety gripping his chest.

'You're name: it's Strife, right? Mr Strife?' 'I'm-'

'Kairi's brother.' Cloud found himself replying, feeling a curious mixture of relief that it was someone he recognised and unease because, well… when didn't he feel uneasy?

'Mind if I sit?' The brunet asked, a slight smirk on his lips.

'I… wasn't staying. I…'

'Just one drink, I'll buy.' The tall man pressed, inviting himself to sit anyway and pulled out his wallet as the bar maid come over to them. The choice already made for him Cloud relented and swallowed down his rising apprehension with a nervous cough.

'Soda, please.' He muttered hoping he didn't look as uncomfortable as he felt. The man turned to look at him with a wry smile and a small huff of amusement.

'I meant a beer or something.'

Cloud felt his cheeks heat, his juvenile request obviously a point of hilarity for the man as he chuckled at the sight of Cloud squirming on his stool.

'Fine… I'll … I'll just have what you're having.'

The brunet took a few seconds, openly staring at Cloud as he contemplated whatever he found there on the blond's flushed cheeks and then turned back to the young girl behind the bar, digging in his wallet for his money.

'Two sodas.'

By the time the girl had brought the drinks back and the brunet had paid, Cloud still hadn't worked up the courage to utter a single word and the longer the silence stretched on, the harder it was to conjure up anything meaningful to say. His jaw felt wired shut and his mind was a chaotic fuzzy blank as he mildly panicked his unease increasing in steps as the silence dragged on.

'You always this talkative?'

'I…' Cloud chocked on a dry throat, feeling a burning flush break out along his hair line and creep down the back of his neck. He reached out and took his newly bought drink and took a long sip, all the while feeling the burning needles of the brunet's eyes.

'So what brings you here anyway, doesn't look like your kind of place.' The man asked him eventually. Cloud mentally chuckled, the sound feeling acerbic and wry even in his own head as he thought about telling the stranger exactly about why he was here tonight.

'Why, is it yours?' He managed instead, surprised at how steady his voice came out. The man chuckled, taking a long drink and set the glass back on the counter.

'No, just passing.' He replied, turning a coaster around on the spot to mop up the spilled condensation that had run down on to the bar. His stance was easy and languid; his shoulders slouched as he rested his weight through his elbows against the worktop, the lines of his profile smooth and relaxed behind his choppy bangs.

'So are you gonna tell me your first name or do I have to call you Mr Strife all night?' He asked, turning to catch the blond watching him surreptitiously from the corner of his eye.

'I'm not staying all night.' Cloud quipped back, already wishing he could get up and leave.

'Oh,' the man uttered, that small little smile curving the corner of his mouth. 'That's a shame.'

Cloud's cheeks burned so hot they felt ice cold to him, his throat closing over for a moment despite his cold drink. He wasn't stupid. He'd been hit on before and his body certainly remembered even if his memory was a little fuzzy. But back then it had felt like he'd known how to handle it. He'd been smoother back then, more confident. He wouldn't have had the courage to talk to Zack if he hadn't. The memory of Zack caused the uncomfortable tension in his belly to turn to a blazing fire of pain and like hot indigestion he felt the bile burn at the back of his throat.

_This was too soon. I shouldn't have come here. _

Clearing the sickly acid from the back of his throat with a small innocuous cough, Cloud wiped an absent finger up and down the condensation on the surface of his glass.

'So what are you doing here?' He asked, deflecting the brunet's attention.

'I'm celebrating.' The man replied quietly, a small rueful smile accompanying the meaningful look in his eyes as he stared at his own drink.

'What are you celebrating?' Cloud caught the odd look and couldn't help but feel curiosity burn away the ragged edges of tension.

'The beginning of a new chapter.'

The answer was strange and ambiguous and although Cloud longed to question the man further he felt his nerve failing. That coil of self-doubt that manifested itself into an obtrusive and spiteful voice in his head whispered cruelly to keep his mouth shut. Nobody wanted to hear what he had to say, least of all this guy he had just met.

'Me and Kairi have been through a lot these last few years. I'm hoping it's over now.' The brunet continued.

Cloud's thoughts turned to the man's younger sibling and felt again that stab of curiosity that he would always be too afraid to act upon. He'd wondered about her from the day she'd shown up in his class, all sulky looks with an edge of attitude. He'd feared she would become the disruption to his class, but had surprised him by remaining quiet and unobtrusive, her subtle and keen mind fascinating and enjoyable to teach. She had attitude alright, but it seemed she saved it all for her big brother.

'She missed class today.' Cloud stated, the contrite look that passed over the brunet's face making him think maybe his tone had been a bit too reproachful.

'Ah, yeah, sorry about that. We had a court date. But it was the last one. Won't happen again.'

Cloud felt his curiosity pique and wondered again at the man's curios domestic situation. Where were their parents? How had this man come to be the sole guardian of his little sister?

'She has work she needs to catch up on over the weekend.'

The brunet nodded, reaching out to pick up a napkin off the bar and pulled a pen from his jacket pocket. He scribbled something down and then slid the piece of tissue paper across to his drinking companion.

'That's our address.' He told the blond. 'And my phone number in case you get lost. We'll be in tomorrow if you wanna drop it round.'

Cloud picked up the napkin and hurriedly stuffed it into his coat pocket, sparing a quick glance at the clock on the wall behind them. It was getting late, and Cloud hated to be outside after midnight. Without finishing his drink, he pulled on his gloves. Tightening his scarf again, he buttoned up his duffle coat and slipped from the stool.

'Well, it was nice to meet you, Mr Leonhart.'

The man watched Cloud gather himself together and the blond thought maybe a shadow of disappointment shrouded his face.

'Just Leon.' He replied softly, his voice a deep burr.

'Oh. Well then it was good to meet you, Mr Leon.'

The brunet let out a soothing chuckle, his eyes dancing with humour as the dimples in his cheeks deepened with his smile.

'What?' Cloud asked, his face burning hot once again.

'Nothing… you're cute when you don't know you're being funny.' The words rang in Cloud's ears as the din of the bar fell away. The brunet was pulled into focus and for a few terrifying seconds all Cloud could feel was the beating of his own heart. 'Hey, you gonna tell me your name or what?'

The blond stood quietly for a few moments, undecided if he felt comfortable enough with this man to give him such private information before he felt the sounds of his own name fall from his lips.

'Cloud.'

The man nodded at him, a pleased little smile still highlighting the accents of his face.

'Have a nice night then, Cloud.' His rich smooth voice carried over the noise of the bar which had returned to a crushing din and Cloud felt himself nodding back at him, the incessant pounding of the blond's heart interrupted only briefly as the man spoke his name. He turned and left, not knowing if the eyes he felt in the back of his head were the brunet's or his cruel imagination.

* * *

'So, what happened last night?'

Cloud felt that small tug of achievement and pride and managed to smother it before he turned. Picking up the coffee pot he set it down on the breakfast bar and passed his friend a coffee cup.

'I went in.' He told her, unable to stop an accomplished little grin from breaking across his face. He knew Aerith would be pleased and her glorious, beaming smile confirmed it.

'You did? Oh sweetie that's brilliant, well done.' Aerith exclaimed reaching out to rest a congratulatory hand over Cloud's as he perched himself on a stool opposite her. His apartment was light and airy, streams of sunlight filtering through his kitchen blinds making dust motes dance on the beams. Far below they could hear the muted sounds of the city, but in Cloud's home everything was tranquil, the bubbling and steaming coffee pot unobtrusive.

'How'd you feel, you know, now that you've done it? Was it as bad as you imagined?' Aerith helped herself to coffee and cream, straightening her back, giving her full attention as she watched Cloud shuffle uneasily on his stool. Even after all these years, he was never truly relaxed around her. She wondered if she would always remind him of Zack.

'No, not really. I guess… I dunno.' Cloud stuttered, struggling for the words to describe his self-consciousness. 'I'm glad I did it, but… I don't know if I could do it again.'

'Of course you can. You did it once. Maybe this time I could come with you and we can have a proper drink.'

Just the mere suggestion left Cloud's heart rate slightly elevated and a thin film of sweat broke out across his brow. He was proud of his little achievement, but that didn't mean he was ready for a night out. With people!

'Ah… maybe. We'll see.' He muttered, refusing to look her in the eye. Aerith had known him too long. She knew when he was avoiding an issue and what that sad little smile meant as he avoided her gaze and stared into his coffee mug. She felt that familiar ache in her chest as she thought of her dead brother and wondered if her face looked like Cloud's did right now. She thought about Zack a lot too. He had been so full of life. His energy had been infectious and as reserved as Cloud had been in the beginning, he was soon swept up in her brother and his inescapable tide. It was hard not to be. Losing him had been the single most devastating thing to ever happen to her, and Cloud was no exception.

'It'll be Zack's anniversary soon.' She said, choosing her words carefully, knowing she was pushing Cloud to talk about things he didn't want to.

Cloud winced. He knew full well what time of the year it was. Five years and it still hadn't gotten any easier. People had promised him it would, but he was still waiting.

'Will you go to the cemetery?' Aerith prodded, secretly hoping that this year would be the year he'd say no.

Cloud nodded.

Feeling sadness and frustration prick her, Aerith reached out a hand and rested it over the top of Cloud's. She understood why, but she couldn't help feeling disappointment and weariness steal over her. It was as if she had to suffer a second bereavement. Not only had she lost her brother, but the Cloud who he'd fallen in love with was gone as well. He'd been replaced with a shell. An anxious, scared and lonely shell.

For himself, Cloud had no words to describe the pain and loss he felt. The one man who he'd loved with all his heart was gone. There was no way he could put that into words, so he'd simply stopped trying. Any mention of his dead lover caused a sort of paralysis in Cloud. His mind seized up and his mouth refused to work. Attempts to talk to him about Zack always ended up in long drawn out silences, Cloud's heart heavy with the things he couldn't say.

'So, tell me more about this bar.' Aerith shifted the conversation, hating that pained expression on her friends face almost as much as she hated the fact he couldn't move on.

Cloud shrugged. 'It was just a bar.' He said taking a sip of his coffee.

'That it? Nothing else interesting happen?' Aerith pushed. When she saw the slight blush rise on his cheeks a slight flutter stole its way through her chest.

'Just some guy. Came up and started talking to me.' Cloud eventually admitted, feeling Aerith's penetrating eyes boring into him.

'Cloud!' She exclaimed, shoving a gentle hand into his shoulder making him wobble on his perch slightly. 'You're supposed to start off with stuff like that. This is brilliant. What was his name, who is he?' She asked, excited once again.

'It was nothing. He's a brother of one of my students. They're new to town. He recognised me and came over to say hi. It's not like that.' He added, seeing Aerith's eager and expectant face.

'Oh sure, yeah. Some guy comes up to you in a bar and it's just to say hi.' Aerith rolled her eyes sceptically and Cloud inwardly sighed. This was why he hadn't volunteered the information right away. He knew Aerith would make more of it than it really was. There was no way a man like Kairi's brother could ever be interested in someone like him. The man was… well, he wasn't Cloud's type. And he sure as hell didn't think he was _his_ type. He was no Zack, at any rate.

'Did he give you his number?' Aerith asked, knowing it was probably a very long shot.

Cloud froze. There was no way he'd be able to make Aerith understand it if he said yes, but the woman could read him like a book. Cloud swore, sometimes it felt like she was inside his head.

'Oh my god, Cloud, if he gave you his number how was it _not like that_?' she shrilled, beyond excited. 'Are you telling me he wasn't interested?'

Cloud's memory briefly fluttered over the previous night's encounter and in quick succession remembered the dimpled smile and lightly teasing words.

_You're cute when you don't know you're being funny._

Brushing it all aside, he pinched himself with harsh reality.

'I have school work for his sister. She missed class yesterday and he wanted me to drop it off today. That's all.' He replied flatly. The deeply burning disappointment was a shock to him, but he swiftly smothered it, that snide, acerbic voice in his head telling him he was stupid and pathetic.

'But still, he could have just arranged to meet you somewhere. He gave you his number, Cloud.' Aerith pushed, not liking the scowl that had creased Cloud's brows.

'It doesn't mean anything, Aerith. He just wants the school work for Kairi, that's all. Just drop it will you?' He snapped, maybe a little too harshly.

His sharp tongue silenced his friend who looked down at her coffee, wounded. After long moments of guilty silence, Cloud struggled to find the words to apologise.

'I just think it would be good for you.' Aerith beat him to it, her gentle smile making his guilt worsen. 'It couldn't hurt to start thinking about other people. It's been five years since Zack died. He wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life being lonely.'

'Can we leave Zack out of this for once?' Cloud bit back, his guilt thickening and solidifying to brittle anger. He hated it when Aerith used Zack's memory to manipulate him. It was unfair. 'This has nothing to do with Zack okay?

Aerith's gentle smile was gone now, a hurt and thundering look simmering in her eyes.

'This is my life and I'll live it how I chose. You don't get to tell me what Zack would want for me, Aerith. He was _my_ boyfriend!' Cloud's tone was dark and edged with hurt and the stinging words felt hot as they spilled from his mouth. He didn't know where they had come from. It had been years since he'd felt the impotent anger that had consumed his life after Zack passed and he'd thought he was over that now. But Aerith's prodding had somehow dredged it all up and he felt displaced, adrift in swirling tides of muddy emotion.

'And he was _my _brother!' Aerith shot back just as harshly. 'You think I don't know what you're feeling? You think I don't know what that pain feels like?' It had been years since they'd argued like this, and yet still here they were going over old ground. Sometimes Aerith felt like it would never end. She had waited so patiently for the worst of her grief to pass, and once it had receded enough to finally see a life without the constant shroud of loss, she had been filled with a hope for the future. She hated to think of him this way, but Cloud was like a lead weight, pulling her back, refusing to let her move forward. Her love for him was the only thing stopping her from leaving him behind and the guilt of that tore her apart. She was selfish, she knew. She wanted her life to begin again and as long as Cloud kept himself shackled that could never happen. She ached for Cloud to finally let go and allow them both to move on.

'When are you going to let go of the past, Cloud?' Her voice was softer now, edged with sorrow and weariness. 'He's dead. Would you rather have died with him?'

Aerith's words caused the worst sort of pain and guilt to consume him and for a moment all Cloud could see were stinging tears. His eyes filled with them as he remembered those days just after Zack's death and the undeniable pull to join him. In truth, he'd felt it more than once, but he'd never admit those thoughts to anyone. Not even Aerith.

'You'd better go. I have work to do.' Cloud answered, his voice soft and gravelly as he stood and picked up their mugs of half-finished coffee. He turned and dumped the pots into the sink, holding his back to his friend as she collected her things. He felt her pause as she reached the kitchen door and turn back to him.

'Don't leave it too much longer, Cloud. The rest of the world won't wait.'

Feeling selfish and childish anger bubble up in his chest, Cloud stomped it down and refuse to turn. Moments later he heard his front door click shut and he was alone.

* * *

"_I'm miles from where you are_

_And I lay down on the cold ground _

_I, I pray that something picks me up_

_And sets me down in your warm arms."_

-Snow Patrol


	3. Blind As I Am

**A/N: **I'm feeling warm and fluffy. This bodes well.

* * *

"_It's like rubbing gold off my hands_

_Trying to see for what it is, I don't think I can_

_It's like rubbing gold off my hands_

_I let it go, I watched it fall, blind as I am._

_I tried to find myself_

_But all I found was an empty shell_

_So I tried to lose myself_

_But I was blind by the beauty of your heart, your heart."_

**Chapter Three:**

**Blind As I Am**

A knock at their apartment door caused Kairi to look up from her Saturday morning cartoons and watch as her brother ambled out of the kitchenette, rubbing his oily hands on his sweatpants and grubby wifebeater. Curiosity piqued her interest and she attempted to peer around Leon's tall frame to see who was calling as the door swung inward. Her brother wasn't the type to have visitors and in the two years that she had known him in any real way he had never had anyone round to his apartment. She didn't even know if he _had_ friends, and the possibility of someone intruding on their normally quiet weekends made Kairi wonder for a brief moment if Leon would ever make any. Kairi had been careful ever since her first days in care never to get too attached to people her own age. They came and went like the seasons. Yet Leon had promised her that this time would be different. Things were more permanent now and although she still held herself as close as she possibly could, she had a few people that she had dared to become friends with. Sora and Riku were people she'd liked almost instantly. Their easy and affable companionship was something she didn't even have to try and acclimatise to and that feeling was unique even in itself. Leon, however… as far as she knew, Leon had always been a lone wolf.

Recognising a pair of familiar loafers and a deep baritone voice, Kairi launched herself off the sofa and meandered around the coffee table towards the two men at the door.

'Hey, Mr Strife.' She greeted curiously, pleasantly surprised to have her school teacher stood in her doorway. She'd suffered through a lot of teachers in her time and considered herself an authority on the issue, but in her humble opinion, Mr Strife was hands down one of the best.

Leon moved aside slightly as Kairi squeezed herself between the wall and her brother, pushing her way out to greet him with a pleasant smile. 'What'cha doing here?'

'Oh, hey, Kairi. I was just stopping by to drop off some work you missed yesterday.' He smiled down at her, his large blue eyes flashing kindly behind his glasses.

'Urgh, really?' She sighed, slumping a shoulder into the doorframe as she remembered they had been tackling algebra. Court dates and social workers had their advantages sometimes and a part of Kairi regretted the fact that she would no longer have that excuse.

'Yeah, I'm afraid so.' Her teacher replied with faux sympathy, a wry little smile curving his mouth. She liked it when he smiled like that at her, like he was sharing a private joke just between them.

'Not more math stuff!' She grumbled, pulling a face as if the word tasted bad.

Mr Strife laughed. Reaching into his bag he pulled out a folder.

'Some of it,' he held it out to her for her inspection and she took it, reluctantly. 'You know what you're doing?' He checked.

Kairi made a face, scrunching her nose uncertainly as she looked up at her teacher.

'Kinda, though I'm not really very good. I don't get how numbers can be letters. It's stupid.'

'Well maybe your brother can help you?' Mr Strife suggested, looking hopefully at Leon. Kairi followed his gaze sceptically and raised an eyebrow.

Leon looked uncomfortable, scratching absently at the back of his head as he shifted on the spot.

'Ah… well, I'm not really an expert… I…'

'Leon's not really that great at school stuff.' Kairi answered for him, missing the embarrassed look that passed over his face. She'd had dealings with Leon's _help_ in the past and although she appreciated his input, she couldn't help but feel she was better off without it.

'Oh, well… if you just try your best, we can go over anything you're not too sure of on Monday.'

Kairi flipped through the folder briefly, catching sight of the complicated equations, letters and markings that looked like an alien language to her and felt her heart sink.

'I'm really not sure I can do this, Mr Strife. Can you stay to help me, just for a little bit?'

Kairi missed the way her teacher shuffled uncomfortably and the flash of panic in his eyes, mistaking it for reluctance. She knew her request was unusual, but well, he was here now and she needed his help.

'Ah, well, I… I don't know if… I don't want to intrude.'

'It's fine. We're not doing anything. Leon's fixing something from his bike and I'm just watching T.V. You can stay and have dinner with us, right, Leon?' Kairi looked up at her big brother and this time didn't miss the subtle look of panic that stole across his face.

'Ahhh…'

She tugged on the hem of his wifebeater, her biggest, most persuasive eyes shining up at him.

'Please, Leon. I really need the help.'

She could see the moment he caved, his hand going to the back of his neck again to rub it as he awkwardly shrugged his shoulders.

'Sure, I guess. I mean, if you don't have anything else planned?' He asked as he shot a look at her teacher.

Mr Strife stood for a few seconds in silence and for a moment Kairi thought he would refuse until he seemed to swallow thickly and he slowly shook his head.

'No. I can spare a few hours.' His smile was strained and it caused Kairi to wonder what the matter was before her thoughts were interrupted by Leon stepping aside, dragging her with him by the collar of her sweater so that her teacher could pass by. He stood awkwardly in the hallway, clutching tightly to his messenger bag that was slung across his body and with a nervous glance at Leon he smiled down at her.

'So, should we get started?'

'Sure, we can work in the living room. It's this way.' She chirruped, pointing her thumb in the direction of the couch.

Cloud followed her through to the main living area, a little relieved to see that Leon had disappeared into the kitchen. A faint humiliating blush rolled across his cheeks as he remembered their meeting the night previous and his own misunderstanding as the man had introduced himself. _Leon_ must have laughed about that all the way home, Cloud thought to himself. He settled himself on the couch next to Kairi who had spread her work on onto the coffee table and had flipped off the T.V.

They set to work, Kairi's keen and astute mind revealing the holes in her education like a road map as they worked through the problems. It was obvious she was a smart kid, yet there were gaps in even her basic understanding of things that left Cloud wondering exactly what kind of an education she'd had up until now and again he found his thoughts turning to the sibling's unusual home life.

* * *

Leon let the slow burn of humiliation and anger fade away. It wasn't Kairi's fault he was stupid, yet he really would have appreciated it if she could have kept her big mouth shut, especially around the blond. He sighed in exasperation and went back to the oily, newspaper strewn kitchen counter and picked up the screwdriver. He'd dismantled the cylinder head and cooling fin from the engine of his motorbike and the parts lay scattered across the cramped kitchen, the counter tops covered in newspaper and oily rags and an assortment of tools as he tinkered away. Keeping the noise to a minimum, he strained his hearing and listened in on the conversation in the living room. He could hear the blond's baritone – soft and unobtrusive – as he instructed Kairi, his voice never harsh or disapproving even as he struggled to make her understand what he was saying. Leo felt his own frustrations rise just listening to his sister and then immediately felt bad for his short temper. He'd never been good at that sort of thing. He could live a hundred different lifetimes and still never understand why people had to be _told_ what to do. He'd always been self-contained in that way; never needing anyone else's approval, just quietly confidant in his own ability.

As the afternoon drew on Leon finished up his mending and tided up the kitchen, finding that he'd lost track of time listening to the soft undertones of Cloud's voice, and Kairi's happy chatting. He felt the painful twisting of his stomach as he realised he was hungry and looked at the clock to realise it was just past five. He stuck his head out of the kitchen door and called into the living room.

'Hey, you two done yet?'

'Yeah, can we eat yet, I'm starving!' Kairi yelled back.

Leon opened the cupboard and stared at the empty shelves, feeling that slight panic steal over him as he worried about what they were going to eat. He'd never really been that good at impressing people – he'd never really felt the need – yet for some reason, the idea of presenting Cloud with a bowl of chicken ramen made him feel ridiculously ashamed.

'Ah… yeah, how bout we go out to eat?'

'Pizza?' Kairi called back excitedly.

'Sure, whatever.' Leon closed the cupboards and meandered into the living room to find Cloud and his sister packing away the last of their things. 'Just let me get cleaned up.'

Half an hour later all three of them were walking along the sidewalk to the nearest subway station.

'So, did you get all your work done?' Leon asked as they neared the station on the corner of their street.

'Uhuh,' Kairi replied as she walked between the two grown-ups, her cheeks already turning pink in the chilly wind. 'It was a bit hard to begin with, but Mr Strife explained it really good and it wasn't so bad in the end.'

'Well, you're pretty smart, Kairi. You hardly needed my help at all.' Cloud replied, watching her wrinkle her nose at the compliment. They approached the steps that led them down into the subway and for a moment Cloud hesitated, his heart rate climbing into his mouth as the stream of people piled out shoving and pushing past them as they waited for an opportunity to cut in.

'You alright?' Cloud heard Leon ask him.

The blond shook himself, swallowing past that lump of panic in the back of his throat as he felt the pulse in his temple increase.

'You look like you're gonna throw up.'

'Y... yeah, I'm fine.' He replied unconvincingly.

As the crowd thinned, they pushed their way down, Cloud's hands shaking as he grabbed the rail and followed the two siblings into the dingy underbelly of the city. Shoving their way onto the platform, he followed in Leon's wake, struggling to control his irrational panic every time he bumped a shoulder. He kept his head down and focused on breathing, constantly grappling with the urge to either throw up or run.

The train arrived and it was a mad scrambled to get on, the hot press of bodies bearing down on Cloud as they found an inch of space, crammed into the cart, and hung on as the carriage pulled away from the platform. The moment the station disappeared, its pallid lights blinking out to blackness, Cloud felt the hot prickle of sweat break out on his forehead.

'Hey, you sure you're okay? You don't look it.' Leon asked again, his face caught between amusement and concern.

'Not really a fan of… of the subway.' Cloud confessed feeling his glasses slip from the moisture gathering on his pale skin. He felt dizzy and lightheaded and he reached up a hand to wipe at the cold sweat that had gathered on his dry lips. He felt about ready to lose control and the feeling scared him. The train was packed and they were underground on a moving vehicle. If he lost it now, he had nowhere to go.

'You gonna be alright?' Leon asked him, fully concerned now.

'I…I have… I have to get off.' Cloud confessed, feeling the dam that had been holding everything back break. He began to gasp for air, his arms and legs turning to jelly beneath him as stars exploded in front of his eyes.

'Hey, it's okay… We'll get off at the next stop. Just hold on.' Leon's soothing voice felt a million miles away as the buzzing in his ears became deafening. With a whirring pop, the train emerged from the tunnel and the lights from the next station illuminated the world around them again. They came to a juddering halt and were swept along in the tide as they followed the flow of people spilling out onto the platform.

Cloud stumbled, his legs barely strong enough to keep him upright and he felt a steady arm encircle him. With a quick glance to his right, out of the corner of his fuzzy vision, he saw Leon shouldering his way through the crowd and as they neared the bottom of the stairs, Cloud felt the cooling breeze of the evening air on his skin.

Like breaking through water, Cloud emerged from the station and onto street level, his panic and sickness rolling away from him in waves as he leant up against the nearest wall and placed his hands on his knees, breathing in the frigid night air in gulps.

'You okay now?' He heard a deep baritone voice and remembered he had company. Straightening on shaky legs he saw Leon and Kairi looking at him with worried eyes. Not trusting his voice just yet, Cloud nodded and tried to smile reassuringly.

'You don't look it.' Kairi pointed out, her face twisted with worry and doubt.

'What happened back there?' Leon asked. Cloud felt his heart sink and braced himself for the inevitable explanation.

'I… I don't do so well in cramped spaces.' Cloud finally replied, his voice insipid and weak. The hot mist of humiliation replaced the smothering sensation of panic and he felt the itch to disappear begin to riddle his body.

'I… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I should… I should probably get going. I shouldn't have agreed to come.' Cloud stuttered, fiddling with the strap on his bag as he readjusted it.

'You don't have to go…' Leon returned almost instantly. 'We… I mean… we don't have to go get pizza if you don't want.' He flashed a warning glare down at Kairi as she huffed her disappointment and irritation before returning his gaze to watch Cloud carefully. He saw the awkward tense lines of the young man's face and the heated cheeks and immediately felt bad, though he had no idea why it should be his fault.

'There's a place on the pier… we could grab something to eat and go sit on the beach?' Leon suggested, wondering vaguely why he was so concerned about the man in front of him. Had it been anyone else, he'd have let them go with no thought what so ever as to the strangeness of their behaviour. But Cloud… for whatever reason, he didn't want this to be how they parted.

'I… I should-'

'Please, Mr Strife. If you go home, Leon'll just make me go to the diner and eat burgers again. Please don't go!' Kairi begged, her face screwed up in disgust.

Cloud felt the pull to disappear worsen only for the young girl's pleading eyes to tug at his already scattered feelings. Her large eyes and simpering pout twisted his conscience and although all he really wanted to do was go home and shut his front door on the rest of the world, he couldn't say no to her.

'Ah… okay… sure.' He swallowed heavily and straightened his shoulders, sighing in defeat as he readied himself for a few more hours of social torture.

They walked the long slow route to the pier through the streets, cutting between rush hour traffic and meandered to the coast until they emerged, the fresh sea air frigid and glacial on their faces. The pier was a few hundred yards ahead of them and along the sea front was a long line of take-aways and eateries. Kairi quickly found the nearest one that sold pizza and eagerly waited, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet as Cloud and Leon caught up.

They eat their pizza in silence, tracking their way down to the beach, the sand giving way with a frozen crunch under their feet as the two men found a spot on the low wall and watch as Kairi chased seagulls down by the water line.

'Sorry about that… back there I mean.' Cloud broke the heavy silence, feeling the need to explain creep over him the longer it went on. He was no good with conversation – never had been really – that had been Zack's area. But he wasn't totally socially inept and he knew that he'd acted strangely.

'S'okay.' Leon shrugged, finishing off his last slice of pizza and the silence descended again.

'So… you get like that a lot, or…' Leon wasn't sure if he was pressing the issue. Subtlety had never been his strong point, but he was uncertain that leaving the topic as the elephant in the room was really the best option either.

'Sometimes,' Cloud nodded, feeling even now the clawing remnants of anxiety. 'Mostly in crowded places. You know: bars, trains, that sort of thing.'

'Huh.' Leon replied, squinting his eyes against the low winter sun as it spread itself out across the horizon. The water reflected the brilliance, making the beach shine in pink and orange hues and even the breath that plumed in front of them was transformed into sparkling mist. 'That must suck.'

Cloud had no idea why, but the understatement struck him as incredibly funny. He chuckled sardonically, some of the tension slipping from his shoulders with the release.

'Yeah. It really does.' He confessed, surprised that he felt relieved for once, to have the simple acknowledgement of his torture, rather than the condescending and pitying frustration that Aerith often gave him. He knew it wasn't her fault. She had been there for him from the very first. But he was slowly killing her, he could tell. Cloud shook himself, annoyed that his thoughts had turned so morbid after such a surprisingly pleasant afternoon with Kairi and his curiosity was once again pricked.

'So you and Kairi are new to town?' He asked, changing the subject. He watched the girl, small for her age, running along the shore line splashing in the low ebbing waves and felt a fondness there. He hadn't known her long, but it didn't seem to matter. She was bright and assertive and he enjoyed her challenging demeanour.

'Sort of.' Leon replied, balling up the paper tissue he'd eaten his pizza out of and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He hunched his shoulders against the arctic winds and watched his sister in the distance, a curious expression melting his normally taciturn features. The breeze swept the bangs away from his face and Cloud admired the strong profile, feeling his cheeks heat despite the chilly air.

'Part of social service's conditions for me getting Kairi was for her to go to Traverse T XIII. She'd been going to Radiant Gardens for two years and it was all the way the other side of town. I managed to get her in, but we had to move.' Leon explained, carefully omitting the part about his parole conditions. The half-truth wasn't exactly a lie, but neither did he feel like explaining that part of his life to his sister's teacher either.

'How long has she lived with you?' Cloud asked.

'About two years, on and off. She was in care before then. Has been since she was three years old.' Leon looked down at his feet, shuffling the sand underneath his heavy boots with quiet unease. He didn't want to lie to Cloud, but he knew that if the blond man asked him where he'd been all those years, he wasn't going to give him the truth. He briefly wondered which bullshit story he should give him before Cloud spoke again.

'Well she's a great kid. You should be proud of her.'

Leon was taken aback for a moment, the many years of struggle flickering before his inner eye as he remembered the last eight years of his life. It blindsided him to realise that he'd never taken a step back to appreciate just how far they'd come; how well Kairi had done despite everything and even though theirs wasn't the most conventional family that had ever existed, they were doing okay.

'I am.' He replied, meaning it whole heartedly.

'Can't be easy doing it on your own.' Cloud remarked, watching the lines of Leon's face change carefully as he watched the silhouette of his sister play down by the surf.

Leon scoffed, his inner voice telling him that he'd never been anything other than alone his whole entire life, yet that cynical voice didn't make anything easier. Though the simple fact that Cloud had acknowledge it seemed to lessen the bitter sting.

'Easier than having to deal with a bunch of 'em. I don't envy you.' He retorted with a wry smile, glancing sideways at his blond companion.

'Kids are easy.' Cloud laughed, feeling that blush creep higher at Leon's grin. In a strange flutter of excitement he felt those twisting knots of nerves in his stomach turn to butterflies and the pleasant tingle of attraction warmed his chest. 'They're just like small adults, but easier to please.'

'Ha, you obviously haven't met Kairi when she's in one of her moods. This is a good day.' Leon commented, feeling again that strange twist of pride and affection for his sister as she came running up the beach, sand sticking to her jeans from where the foamy water had splashed her.

She barrelled headlong into her brother, giggling as she almost knocked him off balance and over the low wall he was sitting on and shrieked with surprise as he swung her up into his arms and held her aloft.

Leon stood and spun her around, holding her flailing body out over the side of the wall and threatened to drop her as she screamed and then laughed in shock.

'Leon! Put me down!' She demanded, kicking her legs out only for them to come up short next to her brother's long arms.

'You sure?' Leon checked, still holding her out over the wall and the short drop on the other side. 'It's gonna hurt' He teased.

'No! I mean on the wall. Put me down on the wall!' Kairi giggled.

With a dramatic sigh, Leon deposited his sister onto the wall and sat back down, his grin wide and mischievous as Kairi glared back at him with faux anger.

'Bully.' She pouted, shoving him in the shoulder and in the next second she had wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling her cheek close to his own and hugged him, the unexpected and tender gesture a surprise to Leon who let the shock show on his face; his emotions completely unguarded for the fraction of a second before he realised Cloud was watching.

Fighting the lump in his throat, Leon reached up a hand and placed it over his sister's arms where they crossed, allowing himself the small measure of affection that he hadn't realised until that moment they had been missing.

'Can we come here again next weekend?' Kairi asked, letting go of Leon who immediately missed the warmth of the embrace. She crouched down in between the two grown-ups and balanced an arm on her brother's shoulder.

'Sure.' Leon replied, enjoying his sister's sudden affable temperament.

'You have to come too, Mr Strife.' She commanded bossily.

'Cloud's probably got other stuff to do. He doesn't want to hang out with us every weekend.' Leon told her, wanting to spare the blond the awkward excuses.

'Who's Cloud?' Kairi asked, her nose wrinkled in confusion.

'Ah, sorry, I mean Mr Strife.' Leon corrected himself, feeling foolish for using the man's title.

'You're name's Cloud?' Kairi asked with surprise as she looked at her teacher with a look of amazement on her face.

'Um, yeah… but you still have to call me Mr Strife.' Cloud told her, his tone serious and business like.

'That's kinda like your name, Squall, except not as stupid.' Kairi giggled, knowing she was testing her luck with the dark glare her words earned her from her brother.

'Thanks, Kairi.' Leon retorted, far from impressed. He watched Cloud's face crinkled with confusion and chuckled 'You didn't really think I was called Leon Leonhart, did you?' He asked, a small smile of amusement creasing his lips.

'Wait, so your name isn't Leon?' Cloud was utterly confused and the sight of Leon's amused face and Kairi's ecstatic fit of giggles left him feeling incredibly insecure.

'No. But if you call me anything else, I'll kill you.' Leon replied dryly, only the hint of humour in his storming grey eyes giving any indication that he wasn't entirely serious.

'I promise.' Cloud said solemnly. 'I thought I was the only one. Was growing up as fun for you as it was for me?' His heavy shoulders and painful anxiety were all but forgotten now as the little girl between them settled herself on the wall and watched the last of the dying sunset with them.

'Huh, you've no idea.' Leon replied, his tone edged with meaning and he unconsciously reached out a hand and pulled his sister into a side long hug, sharing his body heat with her against the bitter wind. She burrowed into his side, sniffing absently against the chill that made her nose run and her cheeks redden and all three of them sat quietly, watching as the sun disappeared below the horizon and the stars begin to blink one by one into life.

'We should be getting back. It's getting cold.' Leon finally broke the silence. Kairi stirred beside him, stifling a yawn.

'Yeah, I should be getting back too.' Cloud agreed, secretly slightly disappointed that their comfortable afternoon was coming to an end.

Leon stood, reaching down to pick his sister up off the wall. She wrapped her arms around his neck and in another unusual move let herself be carried by her older brother. Her weight was heavy and reassuring in Leon's arms and he found himself comforted by her warm and easy affection. He couldn't remember the last time they had been this nice to each other and that thought bothered him.

'Thanks for helping her today.' Leon smiled warmly at Cloud over his sister's shoulder, her head rested comfortably against his neck.

'No problem. I had fun.' Cloud replied, realising it was true and tried to remember the last time that had happened.

'Well, if you want… You know where we are.' Leon offered, a part of him hoping the blond man would come back. He'd never felt the need to have friends in the past, but Cloud's easy company had kindled something in Leon that he wasn't quite sure how to place and for some unknown reason he found himself longing for something…

'I'll… I'll remember that.' Cloud offered a small smile in return, recognising that small spark of something in Leon's gaze. He knew it well.

'See you on Monday, Kairi.' He added, watching the girl lift a lazy hand to wave back.

'See ya, Mr Strife.' She mumbled into the collar of Leon's coat, too sleepy to lift her head.

Cloud watched as Leon turned and carried his sister off the beach and back along the sea front, disappearing into the crowds and traffic before he turned and made his own long journey home through the streets of Twilight City to his empty apartment.

"_It's like rubbing gold off my hands_

_Trying to see for what it is, I don't think I can_

_It's like rubbing gold off my hands_

_I let it go, I watched it fall, blind as I am."_

-Indiana


	4. You Know Me Well

**A/N: **I think I might be on some sort of a roll here guys. Shhh, don't jinx it.

* * *

"_All the skies are fallin' and the sun is movin' up and down  
Even when you're in a dark way.  
Some decisions shield you from the positivity until  
You reach out to me.  
You say why you hate it as you pry your way in  
I need another investigative mind.  
Tell me that you're injured, yourself, and you've been healing  
And I will see this through."_

* * *

**Chapter Four:**

**You Know Me Well**

Cloud slid the last of his paperwork into his messenger bag and looked up at the clock above the board. At half past seven in the evening he considered it safe enough to walk home; the busy rush hour traffic and crowds on the streets would have died down enough for his journey to be comfortable. With a quick look around to make sure his classroom was tidy for the next day he closed the door on the quiet room and strolled through the deserted halls, the other teachers and staff long gone. He'd see the janitor on occasion, mopping the lime green linoleum floors and emptying bins, but his departure from Traverse T XIII was usually unnoticed and Cloud preferred it that way.

Pushing open the large swing door to the main entrance, Cloud braced himself for the bitter wind. Small flurries of snow were caught in the up draughts and as the freezing gusts pulled and danced with his clothes and hair, Cloud noticed a small figure sat at the bottom of the steps, their shoulders hunched and hood pulled up against the frigid weather.

His curiosity getting the better of him, Cloud ducked his head as he passed and peered into the hood to see Kairi's dark and thunderous face looking bleakly back up at him, her nose and cheeks red from the chill, tear tracks gleaming in the light from the street lamps.

'Kairi!' Cloud exclaimed in surprise, immediately looking around for the young girl's older brother.

The street was empty, only the odd passing car crawling past, the headlamps throwing beams of light across the two figures on the sidewalk.

'What are you doing here?'

Kairi sniffed, her mitten covered hand coming up to rub at her nose as she hunkered down further into her coat and looked sulkily at her shoes.

'Protesting.' She replied moodily.

'Protesting? Where's Leon?' Cloud asked, concern beginning to nibble at the edges of his thoughts.

'Don't know. Don't care.' The young girl replied, her tone entirely sour and despondent.

'Did he forget to pick you up?' Cloud was more than worried now. The thought of Kairi being stuck outside school since the early evening in the freezing cold made him momentarily forget that he liked the brunet and for a fleeting second a dark shadow passed over his features.

'No, he took me home.'

Kairi's reluctance to offer any more information was beginning to irritate Cloud and with a small sigh of exasperation he crouched down in front of the young girl, attempting to gain some eye contact.

'So what happened then? Why are you sitting here?'

'Cos Leon's an a-hole, that's why.' Kairi replied, grumpily, her surly nature obvious in the way she folded her arms tighter across herself and scuffed her foot against the concrete.

'Why, what happened?' Cloud prodded, sensing an epiphany on the horizon.

Kairi sighed dramatically, rubbing her snotty nose again to buy time as she looked off down the street, her eyes still seething with displeasure.

'He said he has to work late now. So I have to go to Mrs Beaumont's house after school.' Kairi curled her lip at the name, her face turning sour as her bottom lip come out in an exaggerated pout.

'I _hate_ Mrs Beaumont's house. It smells of chicken fat. And I hate Mrs Beaumont. She always tells me I'm doing things wrong. She's a stupid old witch.'

Cloud was struggling to suppress a grin at the young girl's obvious tantrum, and with a subtle cough he managed to bring his features under control.

'So you and Leon got into a fight, huh?'

Kairi's pout deepened and her scowl darkened.

'He never listens to me.' She complained, her juvenile reactions undermined by the fresh tears in her eyes.

Cloud's concern was mollified at the young girl's words. Her troubles were not all that uncommon for a kid her age, yet with Kairi, it seemed like her problems ran so much deeper.

'Don't you think he might be worried about you?' Cloud asked, attempting to appeal to her conscience.

'Pfft, no!'

'I think he might be. If you've been out here a while he's bound to be looking for you.'

'So let him look. I don't care. I'm _not_ going to Mrs Beaumont's house and he can't make me!' Kairi's fists had curled on her knees and with a serious and determined frown she looked up at Cloud crouching over her and stared daggers at him.

Cloud sighed, shaking his head as he considered the difficult and stubborn young girl in front of him. No wonder Leon looked harangued half the time. Cloud was only just beginning to see how challenging his sister could be.

'I'm sorry, Kairi, I really am. But I've got to take you home. I can't leave you here.' Cloud informed her, standing up straight again.

The small brunette stared at him evenly from under lowered brows and seemed to be weighing up his words. Eventually, after deciding that defying her brother was one thing, but disobeying her teacher was quite another, she sighed, tutted loudly and then rolled her eyes.

'Okay.' She relented, making a show of standing up with great effort. Holding out her gloved hand, she missed the surprised look on Cloud's face, who hesitated a moment before taking her hand in his and led them the opposite way down the street, Kairi dragging her feet as they walked quietly side by side.

As they reached the corner and the entrance to the subway station, Kairi veered off towards the flight of stairs, only to be stopped short as Cloud refused to follow. The young girl looked up at her teacher, a puzzled expression on her face.

'We'll walk. I… I can't take the subway.' Cloud reminded her, more than a little embarrassed and ashamed.

'Oh, right. Yeah, sorry, Mr Strife. I forgot.' Kairi chirruped as she followed the blond man across the road, her legs working to catch up with his strides. She sensed the awkward and tense air around her teacher and with her usual bold and tactless grace she broke the silence with a straight forward question.

'So why don't you like taking the subway, Mr Strife?'

'I…' Cloud's mouth felt dry and he had to swallow a few times in order to clear his throat. 'I just don't. It gets too crowded. I don't like knowing I can't get out.' He explained, feeling uncomfortable even thinking about it.

'Huh… Do you drive?'

Cloud shook his head. 'No, not anymore.'

'Why not?'

Cloud sighed, on the edge of losing his patience and immediately felt terrible. He'd never lost his temper with a child before and the very fact that he felt pushed to the edge with Kairi made him ashamed and anxious all at once.

'I… I just don't like it. I prefer walking. What about you, do you like the subway?' He asked, subtly diverting the conversation onto Kairi.

The girl shrugged, clearly indifferent.

'S'all right, I guess. I'd like it a lot better if Leon would let me do it on my own.'

'Maybe he will when you're older.'

'Pfft, I doubt it. He thinks I'm just a kid.' Kairi spat with obvious distain.

'Maybe you shouldn't run away whenever you have a fight, then he might not have a point.' Cloud said, watching from the corner of his eye as the young girl looked up at him sceptically.

'If you had Leon for a brother, you'd run away a lot too.'

The comment made Cloud chuckle, his anxiety lifting almost immediately as they walked in silence for a while longer. Kairi's comment had got Cloud thinking about Leon again, and feeling that nagging, itching sense of curiosity bite him he couldn't help but take advantage of the opportunity to question the young girl about her unusual home life.

'So what's the deal with you two, anyway?' He asked, hoping his agenda wasn't too obvious. Kairi may have been young, but she wasn't stupid.

'What do you mean?' She replied, her face screwed up in curiosity.

'I mean… well… Where are your parents? How come Leon looks after you?'

Kairi was quiet for a long time and Cloud was suddenly afraid that he'd said the wrong thing.

'They died… a long time ago. When I was about three, I think. I don't really remember.'

'Oh… I'm sorry.' Cloud said, rather pathetically.

'S'okay… like I said, I don't really remember them much. Leon does though, but he won't talk about it.' Kairi supplied, her tone implying she'd tried and failed on many occasions.

'Is that why you went into care, to wait for Leon to be old enough to look after you?' Cloud pushed, feeling like at least some of the pieces were falling into place.

'Leon was already old enough when mom and dad died. He was, like… maybe seventeen… or eighteen, I can't remember. Mom had him when she was real young, I think. Me and him don't have the same dad… I don't even know if Leon knows who his real dad is.' Kairi rambled, her tone even and light. Her blasé attitude was only slightly concerning, and it distracted Cloud momentarily from his confusion.

'So… wait, why'd you have to go into care for so long if your brother could have looked after you?'

Kairi's silence was long and filled with meaning, her face suddenly guilt stricken.

'Ummm… I don't know if I'm allowed to say.' She finally answered.

'Why not?'

'It's… kinda… I dunno if Leon would be okay with me telling you.'

Cloud was more intrigued than ever, but despite his burning curiosity he let the matter slide.

They stopped at another set of traffic lights and waited for the _don't walk_ sign to turn green. Cloud's thoughts were deeply rooted in the young girl's brother and as the lights changed and the flow of traffic stopped to allow them to pass, Cloud realised that Leon was still probably looking for Kairi.

'I guess we should phone him and let him know you're okay.'

'I guess, if you have to.' Kairi shrugged, clearly not thrilled with the idea.

Digging in his pocket for his phone, Cloud pulled it out and flicked through his very limited contact numbers. It wasn't long before the other end connected and a harassed and gruff sounding voice spoke on the other end.

''_llo?'_

'Leon? It's Cloud.'

There was silence for a few moments on the other end before Leon replied.

'_Oh… hi. Umm, look Cloud, I don't wanna be rude but I can't really talk right now. I… I've lost Kairi and I-'_

'I know… don't worry, she's safe. She's with me.' Cloud explained, catching the young girl as she rolled her eyes and tutted softly.

'_What?! What's she doing with you?'_ Leon cried, relief clear in his tone.

'I found her outside school. She was just sitting on the steps. She said she was protesting.' Cloud answered with a smile in his voice.

Leon was quiet for a long while and Cloud could almost picture him taking the phone way from his ear to swear silently in exasperation.

'_Protesting? Hyne damn it, I'll give her something to fucking protest about. Where are you, are you still at school?_' He asked.

'No, I'm bringing her home. Are you there?'

'_No, I'm at the park looking for her. Hang on, I'll be back at the apartment in like, ten minutes.'_

'Okay, I'll see you there.' Cloud hung up and looked down at Kairi, her own gaze level and steady as she stared back up at him.

'You're in big trouble.' He informed her.

Kairi rolled her eyes again.

'Whatever.' She muttered.

Her belligerence only fooled Cloud for a moment, until he felt her grip his hand a little bit tighter and move closer into his side as they continued on through the blustery winds and shifting eddies of snow.

* * *

Despite her impressive early defiance, Kairi was looking rather more sheepish as Cloud knocked on the apartment door. With remarkable speed the door was thrown open and a very angry, thunderous looking Leon stood on the other side, his dark brows drawn low and ominous over his flashing ice blue eyes.

Kairi dared a look up at him from under her hood, her face slipping from arrogant to contrite in a matter of seconds.

'Get in.' Leon spoke low and deadly, his tone flat and dangerous.

Kairi let go of Cloud's hand and without even daring to flash him a thank you smile, she dodged past her brother and vanished into the apartment.

The moment she disappeared, Leon seemed to deflate, his displeased frown melting into a weary grimace.

'Come in.' He gestured to the blond man, nodding his head over his shoulder as he held the door open for Cloud. Taking pity on the older man, Cloud followed him inside, watching as he prowled into the living room and took the remote out of Kairi's hands, flicking the television off.

Leon stood over his sister, the air around him loaded with danger and anger and after long moments of sullen silence from the young girl he barked a terse 'Well?'

Kairi looked up from toying with her gloves and shoved her hood back, her face stoically determined despite her obvious guilt.

'I'm not going to Mrs Beaumont's house.' She repeated stubbornly, though her tone was less forceful than it had been outside the school.

'We've been over this, Kairi. I don't have a choice. You can't just run off like that every time you don't get your own way. Do you have any idea how fucking worried I've been?' Leon snapped, his voice barely restrained. Cloud could tell he wanted to shout and wondered if he hadn't been here if this conversation might not have gone down another way.

'Like you care about anything I do. You don't care what I think, about anything!' Kairi shot back angrily, her little hands clenching on her knees again.

'That's bullshit, Kairi. If I didn't care about you I wouldn't have busted my ass these last two years to get you back.'

'I wish you hadn't!' Kairi shouted, her anger spilling over into treacherous tears as they slid down her ruddy cheeks.

As much as he tried to hide it, aware that they had an audience, the look of hurt that passed over Leon's face was painfully obvious. He slammed the T.V remote down onto the coffee table, making both Kairi and Cloud jump.

'You know what, if you don't wanna go to Mrs Beaumont's, that's fine. You don't wanna live with me, I can send you back... You wanna live in that kid's home? Because I don't need this shit, Kairi. I'm trying my best here and you just keep throwing it back in my face!' Leon snarled.

'If you'd just listen…' Kairi wailed, the flow of tears growing faster as she hiccupped through her distress.

'I've had enough of listening to you for one night. Go to your room. I don't wanna see your face at the minute.'

Leon turned away from her, running a hand through his shaggy bangs as the young girl threw herself off the couch and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

The silence that punctuated the room was only broken by Leon's deep sigh. Awkwardly he turned to look at Cloud, who shifted nervously from one foot to the other, a helpless look of condolence on his face.

'I'm sorry bout that.' Leon mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

'S'okay.' Cloud tried to reassure.

'It's just… I…' Leon struggled to find the words, his weary steps taking him around the coffee table to slump heavily onto the couch. He held his head in his hands, his fingers tangled through his mass of chocolate brown hair and his shoulders were ridged with tension.

'I don't know what I'm doing.' He finally admitted, his voice utterly defeated.

Cloud inched into the room and tentatively sat on the other end of the couch, removing his bag and placed it by his feet.

'You're not doing as bad as you think.' He tried to console, wanting to reach out and put hand on the older man's shoulder. He stopped himself, deeply uncomfortable with the idea of initiating that kind of contact.

'You're just saying that.' Leon moaned, a small humourless gush of air leaving his parted lips.

'You shouldn't beat yourself up, Leon.' Cloud tried again. 'It looks like Kairi does enough of that on her own.'

'I don't know what I'm gonna do with her. She hates me.' The anguish in Leon's voice was palpable and if there had been any doubt in Cloud's mind about how much Leon cared for his sister it evaporated at the man's next words.

'I just don't know how to reach her. I… what if something happens to her and… I don't know how I'll be able to live with myself.'

'Nothing's going to happen to her.' Cloud replied, a small frown creasing his blond brows.

'She's already lost her whole family. I'm all she's got and I'm just… I'm not enough.' Leon rested his arms on top of his knees, the gesture so much like the sulking Kairi that had been sat outside of the school that Cloud felt a warm and soothing affection pervade him. Without thinking, he reached up and placed his hand on Leon's shoulder, squeezing lightly.

'You're her brother. As long as she's got you she still has her family. That's enough.'

Leon looked over at Cloud as soon as the man touched him, his surprise obvious on his face as he took in his words.

For a long time Leon stared at Cloud, his gaze seeming to calculate everything. His eyes were dark and troubled, and through the shifting uncertainty and doubt that lingered in them, Cloud saw the moment that Leon decided to kiss him.

The movement was so quick, Cloud didn't have time to react or to pull away, and he let out a small sound of surprise as Leon leaned over and pressed his mouth against his. He flinched and felt the brunet's hand come up to cup the back of his neck, a thumb brushing the arch of his jaw as Leon leaned in further, deepening the contact with a small twist of his body.

Cloud froze, seconds of indecision passing by before he awkwardly reached up and tentatively placed his fingers against Leon's neck, feeling the pulse point under the warm skin as he slid his hand into his hair. The moment he felt Leon's tongue press against his lips, seeking permission, a flashing image of Zack struck Cloud and as if he'd been singed by white hot light, he pulled back, breaking the kiss.

Leon sat back, in possession of himself once again and winced awkwardly, painfully aware of the startled and distressed look on the blond's face.

'I'm sorry… I can't…' Cloud tried to explain, feeling his cheeks heating the longer Leon looked at him like that. The feeling of Leon's lips still ghosted on his own and he was horrified to realise that despite Zack's face – still a shadow in his memory – he wanted Leon to kiss him again.

'I… I have to go.' Cloud stammered, standing quickly.

Leon cursed silently, standing too.

'Cloud, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-'

'No… it's alright. It's not you… I…' Cloud's face was on fire and as he awkwardly readjusted his glasses on his nose he struggled to meet Leon's eye.

'I should just go.'

Picking up his bag from his feet he hurried to the door and swung it open.

The moment Cloud closed the door again and Leon was once again alone in the living room, the brunet swore violently under his breath, fisting a hand through his hair and he flopped back down on to the couch and sighed in utter defeated humiliation.

"_You know me well  
You show me hell when I'm looking  
And here you are  
Looking.  
I told you then  
I'd hold you when you need it  
And there you are  
Looking  
Away."_

Sharon Van Etten


	5. You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory

**A/N: **I am very slowly, but very surely falling in love with this story.

* * *

"_You're just a bastard,  
You got no name.  
You're living with me,  
We're one and the same._

_And even though they don't show,_  
_The scars aren't so old."_

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

**You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory**

Cloud bent to clear the snow that had gathered on the headstone, wiping at the fine covering of ice crystals that had formed in the delicate lettering. Sitting back on his hunches, his knees freezing and soggy in the slush, he exhaled softly, the sigh billowing from his lips in foggy breath. It was difficult to gauge how he felt. He knew that deep down underneath all of the numbness and the years that separated that tragic moment from this one, he still felt the acute pain of loss. But after so long it was getting harder and harder to access it. It was like looking at it through an opaque window, its outline visible and its shadow ominous but it was altogether intangible. Cloud didn't know when he had stopped feeling it – his pain along with all of his other emotions – he only knew that it was probably for the best: better to feel nothing at all than the terrible ache of grief.

He cleared the rest of the snow from the plinth and emptied the dried and frozen flowers from the vase and rose to his feet, sitting himself on the bench on the other side of the path at the bottom of the grave. The tree that overhung it rattled its bony fingers in the frigid wind and dropped small shards of ice, almost like snow, and Cloud shuffled down further into his duffle coat and woollen scarf, balling his damp hands up deep into his pockets.

For two long hours he sat in the freezing snow, his eyes glassy and transfixed on the grave as he became comfortably numb to everything and only a gentle hand on his shoulder shook him and alerted him to the fact that any time had passed at all.

He looked up at Aerith, her smile warm and apologetic as she sat herself down next to her friend, the flowers in her hand crinkling in their paper wrappings.

'How long have you been sat here?' She asked, noticing his pallid skin, grey with chill.

Cloud shrugged, his shoulders stiff.

'I brought some flowers from the shop. I know they won't last long, but still… he should have something.' She tried to make conversation, all too aware that things between them weren't quite mended yet.

'They're beautiful.' Cloud finally conceded, watching the pale pink and white petals shivering in the breeze.

They lapsed back into silence and Aerith placed the flowers on the grave, taking her time to make sure they looked just right, their delicate colours offset against the slate of the headstone.

Her heart ached the same way it did every time she read Zack's name, the pain of loss so different from any other type of hurt that it was impossible to mistake it. It was where a part of Zack resided now: in grief. Yet she could still fill her heart with happier times and the realisation that Zack's memory was not entirely lost to that grief helped her more than anything else.

She sat back beside Cloud and looped her arm through his, refusing to relent to his morbid mood.

'I'm sorry,' she finally murmured. 'About what I said the other week. I shouldn't have… It wasn't my place. Everyone grieves differently and I shouldn't have pushed you, especially so close to the anniversary.'

'S'okay.' Cloud replied softly, squeezing her arm against him gently. 'You're right though.' He admitted.

Aerith turned to look at him, surprise hidden in her beautiful eyes.

'About what?'

'You're right… about moving on.' Cloud told her, his voice croaky from the cold and misuse. 'I… I know I need to. It's just… I've gotten comfortable with being… this way.' He winced as he talked, affected but the excruciating feeling of revealing private thoughts, even to Aerith.

He didn't want to admit it, but Leon kissing him had done more than just shock him. It had awoken something profound in him: a realisation that he had been missing something even so basic as human contact. The experience of drifting through the last five years had anaesthetised him, and after so long he hadn't even realised he was so detached. Not until Leon had pressed his lips against him and the pleasant memory of all things physical had come collapsing back in on him.

He'd had a long time to think about it on his way home that night, and by the time he'd reached his own front door Cloud had been exhausted with the weight of guilt and want. He felt his attraction to Leon in the very depths of his bones and it was the first real feeling he'd had since Zack's death. It was the only thing that wasn't numb.

'What finally made you change your mind?' Aerith asked, her voice light and inquisitive, her heart weightless with the joy of her friend's revelation.

Cloud was quiet for a long time, considering his words carefully.

'I'm tired,' he finally confessed. 'I want to wake up.'

Aerith untangled herself from Cloud's arm and wrapped him in her own embrace, feeling the first stirrings of hope and that imperceptible weight that ground her down begin to lift. As she held Cloud she cast her teary eyes over Zack's grave and felt an odd mixture of old grief and new elation and wondered at how similarly they weighed.

* * *

After the heat of the steel factory the bite of the winter wind always hit Leon with a stinging slap. His oily, dirt smudged face bend against the wind, he followed the stream of people as they left by the tradesman entrance, the barrier gates lifting to allow the workers passage. Without bothering to give his surroundings too much attention he set off on his familiar route home.

It was late, already well past nine in the evening and as he trudged through the streets towards the nearest tube station Leon couldn't help but feel the uncomfortable sensation of being followed. He looked over his shoulder but only saw the unfamiliar faces of the crowd and the passing cars that kicked up slushy piles of wet snow into the gutters.

Turning back around to carry on his way home, he was pulled up short by two men blocking his way. They were dressed in long black felt coats over sharp suits, their highly polished shoes barely marked by the grit and salt on the pavements and Leon recognised them immediately.

'Mr Hano would like a word.' The taller man said smoothly, his dark eyes glinting dangerously.

'I… I'm late, can't it wait?' Leon replied with a subtle stutter, unaccustomed to the small sprig of fear that had suddenly bloomed in his belly.

'Mr Hano does not like to be kept waiting.' The man replied, stepping forward to take Leon by his arm. The other man took the other side, guiding Leon firmly towards a waiting black sedan that had been parked up by the side of the road. The moment they approached, the back door swung open and Leon was bustled inside, the two men climbing in after him.

Leon tried to calm himself, avoiding eye contact with the men sat in the back with him as they drove through the busy streets. He knew there was only one reason Hano would want to see him and it wasn't to exchange pleasantries. Immediately his thoughts turned to Kairi and he hoped that Mrs Beaumont wouldn't do anything stupid once she realised that he was running late.

Resisting the urge to look at his watch, Leon waited until they pulled up outside of a small unassuming laundrette, recognising the red and white Chinese lettering over the shop front.

The man beside him opened the door and Leon felt the subtle shift and dig of the man behind him as he nudged him out of the car. Feeling his mouth go dry despite the cool exterior, Leon felt himself begin to shift with intense unease as the men walked him inside.

The steam and the noise hit him instantly, covering the fine sheen of sweat that had broken out along his brow. Walking through the main shop front and disappearing into the back, Leon was walked through a beaded door and into a small office, the cramped space turned suffocating as the three men joined him.

Behind the desk sat a small, squat middle aged man with thin black eyes and greying hair, fine spidery-like wrinkles framing his down turned mouth. He looked up from his work as Leon stood waiting, resisting the itching urge to shuffle from foot to foot.

'Mr Leonhart, your debt is overdue.' The man named Hano spoke in a thick accent.

Feeling his voice catch in his dry throat, Leon swallowed to relieve it and nodded faintly.

'I know… I'm sorry.'

'Sorry does not solve our problem.'

Leon risked a look over his shoulder and noticed the men still stood behind him, their arms clasped loosely in front of them, their long coats no doubt hiding guns and threats that Leon didn't need explaining to him.

'I know… I… I ran out of time. I took extra shifts at the factory, but it's not enough… I,' Leon swallowed nervously, Hano's face completely unchanged and unmoved by his explanation. 'I need more ti-'

'You _need_?' Hano interrupted him, a mildly shocked look crossing his face as his brows creased.

'Mr Leonhart, are you demanding from me?'

'No.' Leon replied quickly, shaking his head. He could feel the wild tattoo of his heart in the back of his throat and could taste adrenaline on his tongue.

'Please, I just need more time.' He added, resisting the urge to wipe at the sweat on his top lip.

Hano looked down at his clasped hands and sighed. Reaching out he screwed the cap back onto his fountain pen and delicately placed it on top of the neatly arranged papers on his desk. With careful and deliberate movements, he pushed himself back, scrapping his chair against the concrete floor and stood, his movements fluid and graceful despite his short and stocky frame. He walked slowly around the desk until he was in front of it and lent against the wood, the table creaking subtly under his weight.

'I'm not a patient man, but I can be generous.' Hano began, his mild tone belying his menacing words. 'Was I not generous to you when you came to me in need of money for you and your sister?'

Leon unconsciously flinched at the mention of Kairi.

'Yes.' He answered simply, aware that he was on dangerous ground.

'Did I not give you money for a new house? Did I not help you when you needed me?'

'Yes, you did.' Leon agreed, knowing that to say anything else would be foolish. It hadn't mattered that he'd been desperate then and it hardly mattered now.

Hano stared at Leon for a long time, his dark eyes considering and calculating, before he nodded almost imperceptibly to himself, a small grunt of acceptance coming from him as he stood straight again.

'I don't like to be made a fool of, Mr Leonhart. When you renege on a debt, you break your promise and you make me look a fool. You understand why I can't allow this.'

'Please, I just need a little more time. I'll have your money, I promise. Just give me another month.' Leon pleaded, unashamed that he was bordering on begging.

'A month?' Hano's eyebrows raised high over his narrow eyes. 'A month is a long time in business and we are not negotiating.'

'If you kill me how will you get your money?' Leon replied, knowing he was treading on thin ice.

Hano's shock was quickly concealed with a pointed stare and long uncomfortable moments of silence before he answered in a low and dangerous tone.

'Who said we would kill _you_?' He laughed subtly, enjoying the moment the implied threat slid home and Leon's eyes turned over in fear.

Terror, sharp and ice cold took Leon's breath from him and his next words were lost to him as panic immobilised him.

'No…' He heard himself moan, the small admission of fright incomparable to the threat of losing Kairi.

Hano smiled, the small action oily and calculating. It was smug satisfaction and instant pleasure at seeing Leon's distress and he let out a soft chuckle that made the brunet's skin prickle and shiver with disgust.

'I believe we both understand one another now.' He said, nodding his head. 'I will give you your one month and you will not disappoint me. The next time you stand in this office, you will pay me what you owe.'

With a subtle nod of his head towards his men, Hano dismissed Leon.

The brunet felt hand's gasp his arms and pull him from the office, back through the beaded door and out through the steam and noise to the street outside.

With a small shove, he was ungracefully expelled from the laundrette, the cold air hitting him like a sledgehammer and as he quickly walked on up the street, he had to dart into an alley way to vomit, his stomach continuing to dry heave long after he had brought up his super.

* * *

Kairi was quiet as she sat and sulked next to Leon on the subway train. She was tired. Her brother had been late collecting her and despite her hatred of Mrs Beaumont she was not happy to see him. Their argument was still fresh and sour between them and neither of them had made any moves to rectify the tense atmosphere their words had caused.

Despite their animosity and careless actions, Kairi regretted her harsh comments. She knew she could be stubborn, but she was far from heartless and she'd known full well that her outburst had hurt Leon. While it may have been her intention at the time, she'd had time to reflect and was now feeling unbearably guilty. Yet still, her pride prevented her from making the first move. She wasn't the only one who had been out of line and her tumultuous emotions and righteous anger were only stirred further by her bothers refusal to listen to her.

She watched him from behind lowered lashed as they rode the subway home, his profile stern and serious. His oil smudged face was set into its usual serious mask but as Kairi looked further, she could easily see the pale and tired pallor of his skin underneath the grubby dirt, and the tired lines around his eyes, set into dark circles. His blackened fingers where laced tightly together on his lap and she watched as he worried a thumb back and forth over the knuckles of his left hand.

It was obvious even to her that Leon had problems and worries she knew nothing about and she was certain from past experience that she would never learn of them. Her brother was a private person and just as proud as his sister, yet their similarities only seemed to widen the gap between them and Kairi's young mind struggled for the solution to their problems.

The train pulled in at their stop and as both of them rose to exit, Kairi reached up to take Leon's hand. The small action went unnoticed, and Kairi knew she'd need a grander gesture to break through her brother's stalwart barriers.

The moment they stumbled wearily through their apartment door, Kairi threw her bag down by the pile of shoes and watched her brother disappear into his room. She waited, undecided for a while to see if he would remerge, but when all that filled the room was silence she rummaged in her backpack and pulled out her lunchbox.

Wandering into Leon's room she saw her brother sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands as he stared at his feet. She stopped in front of him and waited for him to look up, his dark grey eyes looking tired and flashing with something else that the young girl couldn't place.

'Here.' She offered, holding out her hand. 'I saved you my pudding cup.'

Leon looked at the object in his sister's hand, bewilderment overtaking his features for a moment.

'It's to say sorry… for what I said the other day.' She clarified, feeling foolish for a moment before Leon reached out and took it from her slowly.

He smiled affectionately, rolling the pudding cup back and forth between his grubby hands and Kairi waited for him to say something.

'I'm sorry I make you go to Mrs Beaumont's. I know you hate it.' His voice was quiet and sombre, any harshness from their previous argument completely dissolved.

'S'okay… I know you have to.' Kairi replied, still unhappy about the arrangement but feeling better about their animosity.

Leon looked up at her through choppy bangs and smiled sadly at her.

'Come here.' He said softly, holding out his arms for her.

With little resistance, Kairi walked into Leon's embrace and hugged him tightly around the neck. He smelt of heat and steel, smoke and sweat and underneath it an unmistakably familiar scent that pulled at the very edges of her memory. She couldn't recall what it was, but it was recognisable and unmistakably Leon: the scent of her brother and her family. She buried her face deeper into the crook of his neck and felt him squeeze her tighter.

'I wish you didn't have to work so much.' She mumbled, realising only now that she missed her brother's quiet and taciturn nature. She was a quiet and private person herself, yet having someone nearby to keep her company was better than being alone. It was when they got on the best: when they didn't speak to each other, and the ironic thought made Kairi smile.

'I know… it's not for much longer. I promise.' Leon replied, his voice sounding strange and distant.

She pulled away to arm's length and studied his face, his expression closed and guarded once again. She watched him for a long time and noticed the small swirls of sadness in his eyes.

'Will you tell me about mom and dad again?' She asked, their little ritual the only thing that had really brought them together in the first place. She remembered the first time Leon had told her about her parents, his soothing words settling her after a nightmare as he spoke about the two people she'd never really known. In a strange way, she felt closer to them.

Leon smiled, pulling away to settle himself on the bed properly and he patted the space next to him.

'Sure.' He said as he waited for Kairi to get comfortable.

'What was mom like?' Kairi asked, knowing the routine off by heart now.

'Mom was beautiful.' Leon began, watching as Kairi settled in beside him and listened. Even though it was an old routine, she never tired of hearing it and Leon felt an odd sort of comfort in the silly gesture.

'She liked rock and roll music and played it when she did the housework. She even went to a concert when she was pregnant with you…' Leon continued, watching as his sister's eyelids lowered fraction by fraction.

'What about dad?' She mumbled snuggling in closer to Leon's side as she stifled a yawn.

'Your dad… he was really tall and serious. He worked away a lot and whenever he came home he'd bring mom a bottle of her favourite perfume.'

'What was it?' Kairi asked, almost on the edge of sleep now.

'I don't know, but she always smelt of roses.'

There was a long pause and Leon was almost sure Kairi had fallen asleep. He was about to attempt to slide himself from under her and lift her from the bed when he heard her small and sleep soaked voice.

'How'd they die, Leon?'

The brunet froze and felt his heart skip a beat. They'd skirted around this issue many times before but it had always been in an argument and easily avoided. Leon wasn't sure he knew how to answer her now and the pain of realising he owed her an explanation was doubled by the fact that he knew the truth would break her heart.

'That's… a story for when you're older.' He finally replied, standing from the bed and scooped her up in his arms.

Gently he put her in her own bed and pulled the covers up around her, dimming her lights as he passed out into the hallway. Leaning heavily against his doorframe he felt the weight in his own heart and tried to hold back the bitter tears.

His promise to Raine floated into his mind and with a pained wince that broke the line of tears on his lashes he shuddered at the memory of Hano's promise.

He was failing. After all this time and all of his sacrifices, he was failing.

The tear had tracked a clean path through the grime on Leon's face and with a weary, shuddery breath he wiped at the moisture on his chin and stumbled to bed, too exhausted to wash or change out of his clothes yet too full of fear and guilt to allow himself to fall asleep.

"_You can't put your arms around a memory,  
You can't put your arms around a memory,  
You can't put your arms around a memory,  
Don't try, don't try."_

Broken Twin.


	6. People Help The People

**A/N: **I've been neglecting to mention that the songs I've chosen to accompany this story are quite integral to the theme. The titles of each song become the titles for each chapter and the lyrics and melodies are all interwoven with the plot of the story. I know I usually add a little song to the beginning of some of my stories, but for this particular one, I've tried to tie them together a little closer. I'm a huge nerd (In case you haven't noticed) and what I often like to do is create playlists for stories when I'm writing them. It helps with my visualisation and helps me plot better, so for this story I'd really like it if you maybe put together this playlist and gave it a listen. Not all of it will be everyone's cup of tea, but I'm hoping the overall effect should be quite beautiful and somewhat heartrending. Because, you know, I'm an emotional sadist and it's what I do!

Enjoy. xxx

* * *

"_God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts,  
Guess the loneliness came knocking  
No one needs to be alone, oh singin'_

_People help the people_  
_And if you're homesick,_  
_give me your hand and I'll hold it._  
_People help the people_  
_Nothing will drag you down."_

**Chapter Six:**

**People Help the People**

Kairi quickly wandered down the empty hallways of Traverse T XIII, circling back on herself in the hope she'd still find her teacher in his classroom. It was well after the final bell had rung and the halls were deserted, all the other kids long gone home with their parents, leaving Kairi stood out on the sidewalk alone. Once again, she had waited with vague annoyance, knowing full well that she was capable of the short subway ride to Mrs Beaumont's apartment. However, she knew all too well the anger that would await her if Leon ever found out about it, and she was enjoying the short lived ceasefire that had grown between them. Standing on the stone steps outside her school, she had been faced with only one other option. She had to find Mr Strife.

Standing on tip toes to see through the glass part of the classroom door, she was relieved to see the blond haired man sat at his desk, head bent low over a stack of papers and with a timid knock, she rattled open the door handle and stepped inside.

"Kairi, what are you doing here?" Cloud asked her, his eyebrows disappearing into his hairline. He looked behind him to check the clock on the wall. "It's nearly half four."

"I know… Mrs Beaumont didn't pick me up." She explained, a note of worry in her voice. It wasn't that she was sad to not have to go to the old witch's house, but she was rather alarmed that she had just been left, with no explanation or back up plan.

"What, why?" Cloud asked her, standing up from behind his desk.

Kairi inched further into the room and shrugged her shoulders.

"Dunno. She's never been late before."

"Well there's gotta be a reason." Cloud replied, walking round his desk and coming to a stop in front of the young girl. He knelt down and placed a hand on her shoulder, her thick duffle coat dusted with melting snow. "You okay, you look cold?"

"'m fine, I just… don't know what I'm supposed to do. Leon said I can't go on the subway, and if Mrs Beaumont doesn't show up, I got nowhere to go until Leon finishes work."

"You sure you don't know why she didn't turn up?" Cloud asked, clearly concerned as he searched her face.

"Well… might have something to do with what her and Leon were arguing about last week." Kairi shrugged her shoulders and ran the back of her hand under her nose as she sniffed.

"They had a fight?"

"Yeah, Mrs Beaumont said she wouldn't look after me anymore if Leon didn't pay her. She said we were behind two weeks already."

Understanding dawned in Cloud's eyes and with a worried frown he let go of Kairi's shoulder and stood up.

"Huh, I see. Well… you can't stay here. Want me to walk you home?" Cloud asked.

"I don't have a key." Kairi explained, looking a little awkward.

"Oh, right. Does Mrs Beaumont?"

Kairi shook her head, a small sliver of embarrassment stealing over her as she stood helplessly, waiting for the solution to a problem that no other kid seemed to have. She wasn't stupid, she knew it was unusual to have to hang around school and ask her teacher for help, all because her brother couldn't afford to pay the child minder.

"How bout we give Leon a ring and see if he can't come pick you up early for once?" Cloud suggested.

"Leon works in a factory down town, he won't have his phone on him until after he finishes."

Cloud placed his hands on his hips and blew out a sigh, looking down at the young girl that looked back up at him with a quiet expectation.

"You see the pickle I'm in?" Kairi quipped, trying her hardest to lighten the mood.

Cloud huffed a laugh, despite his concern.

"Okay then… well, I guess that leaves only one option." He said, resigning himself to another night of unofficial child minding.

"Go back to the children's home and demand a better brother?"

Cloud looked down sympathetically at Kairi and smiled softly.

"He's doing the best he can, you know."

"Yeah, so everyone keeps telling me." Kairi rolled her eyes and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

Choosing to let the subject lie for now, Cloud picked up his coat from the back of his chair and gathered his things together. It was a little earlier than normal for him to be leaving, but he figured at this point he really didn't have many other options.

"Come on, I'll take you back to my place. We can wait for Leon to finish work there."

Kairi followed him out, her annoyance and shame at her situation only marginally beaten out by her excitement and curiosity at getting to see where her teacher lived. Sora and Riku where never going to believe this!

* * *

The first thing that struck her about Mr Strife's apartment, as Kairi walked through the door, was how _big_ it was. Compared to her and Leon's tin box, it was a palace, and she wasted no time in wandering across the open plan flooring to explore the furthest reaches of the room.

"Wow, you got a nice place here, Mr S." She chirruped to herself as she wondered around the room, picking up objects and knickknacks, rummaged through books and CDs and leafed through magazines scattered on coffee tables.

"Thanks, just… help yourself." Cloud muttered to himself as Kairi scrambled down onto her knees to inspect his DVD collection. He wondered into his kitchen, discarding his bag and papers for the night and was already worrying about what to cook for an eleven year old when Kairi followed him in.

"Don't you have any kid's movies?" She asked, brushing her fringe out of her eyes.

"Ummm, I'm not really set up for small people." Cloud replied. "You hungry?"

"Sure, whatcha got?" Kairi hopped up onto the stool at the breakfast bar and watched as her teacher began to rummage through his cupboards.

"I got pasta, or chicken salad, or mashed potatoes with some sausages?" He suggested, looking over his shoulder to find a rather unimpressed, scrunched up face.

"Don't you have any burgers or pizza or something?"

"Is that all you eat?" Cloud asked, closing the fridge with his heel as he pulled out the pack of sausages.

"Leon's not really the best cook. We kinda just eat whatever's around." Kairi climbed down from her perch, getting tired of watching Cloud's back as he moved about the kitchen, and began to wonder around again looking at pictures that dressed the side cabinets next to the kitchen table.

"Who's this?" She asked, pointing to a middle aged woman with greying blond hair.

Cloud looked over his shoulder and squinted through his glasses.

"That's my mom."

"She's pretty." Kairi replied, resting her chin on the wooden top as she continued to look through the rows of pictures. "She live near here?"

"No, she lives in Nibelheim. Long way from here."

"Huh, must mean you don't get to see her much. You miss her?"

"Sure," Cloud replied, turning to watch the young girl as she stared at his photographs longingly. "She calls a lot, so it's okay I guess."

"You got any other family?" Kairi asked, scanning the photos one by one, her eyes landing on a particular image of Cloud with his arm around another man, his hair long and dark and his eyes such a vivid blue they were almost purple.

Cloud turned back to preparing the food, a sudden panic overtaking their pleasant enough conversation.

"No." He replied simply.

"No brothers or sisters?"

"No, just me and my mom."

"So who's this?" Kairi asked, picking up the photo and walked it round the breakfast bar to where her teacher stood, quietly peeling potatoes.

Cloud placed the knife down on the counter and looked at the photo, carefully taking it from her outstretched hands.

"That's Zack." He answered her, trying to keep the small tremble from his voice.

"Is he your boyfriend or something?" Kairi questioned, recognising the flash of something that went through her teachers gaze as he looked at the photo, but her young mind had no idea what it was.

"Yeah." Cloud replied, still fighting the lump in his throat that made talking painful.

"So where is he? Doesn't he live here with you?" Kairi pushed further, her question a little more hesitant when she saw the distressed look that passed over Cloud's face as she asked.

Cloud turned and crossed his kitchen, gently placing the photo back in its proper place before allowing himself a few more seconds to pull himself together.

"He died. A few years ago." He eventually managed, running his hand through his hair.

The apartment was quiet for a few moments, until Cloud felt the slight tug on his hand and he looked down at the small girl stood next to him. She was looking up at him with an open and apologetic face and the sight made Cloud's own treacherous emotions crumble further.

"I'm sorry, Mr S." Kairi said quietly. She cautiously put her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I get sad when I think about my mom and dad, so I know how you feel." She told him. "Me and Leon are a small family, just like you and your mom. Hey," she exclaimed, looking up at her teacher as he tried his hardest not to let the line of moisture that had gathered on his lower lashed fall. "You could be a part of our family. Leon won't mind. He's always sayin' he's got too much to do."

Cloud couldn't help the smile that broke out across his face at the young girl's offer. Even in her sincerity she was adorable, despite her wicked temper.

"I think Leon might mind if I just showed up on your doorstep." Cloud told her, quickly pushing down rise of his terrible grief.

"Yeah, he's pretty grouchy, isn't he?!" Kairi grinned, letting go of her teacher.

"Well, he's probably got a lot to be grouchy about." Cloud reasoned, following the small girl back to the kitchen counter.

Together they passed the time, helping each other prepare their meal. Once they'd eaten and cleared away, Kairi and Cloud settled down in front of the couch, spreading their work out on the coffee table; Kairi's brows drawn low over her homework and Cloud's attentive gaze flicking between his own marking and helping his young student.

"Hey Cloud, wanna lose some money?" Kairi asked as she eventually packed away her school work.

"I hadn't planned on it." Cloud replied cautiously as he stacked away his own reports.

"Go Fish – I got a winning streak going, wanna play me?" The young brunette suggested, wiggling her eyebrows as she picked up a deck of cards from under the coffee table.

"You think you can beat me at Go Fish?" Cloud was amused, and he let that small crooked smile slip, the one that Kairi liked best.

"I _know_ I can!" She boasted, feeling pretty confident. "Get ready to empty your pockets."

"I'm not playing for money. Loser has to do the washing up." Cloud suggested, pointing over his shoulder at the sink full of dishes.

"Deal." Kairi agreed after a moment's thought and slapped the deck of cards down on the table.

They dealt the cards and began to play, their chatter soft and amenable. Kairi sat with her back to the couch, resting up against the arm of it as Cloud sat cross legged opposite her, resting up against the book case.

"So you and Leon play this a lot?" Cloud asked, waiting for Kairi to make her move.

"Sometimes, when he's got time. I played this in the kid's home. There were some real suckers there who lost a lot of money." Kairi grinned triumphantly.

"You spent a lot of time there, in the kid's home, I mean?" Cloud asked, his tone subtly curious.

"On and off," Kairi shrugged. "I spent a few years living with different families."

"Did you like it?"

"Some of them were okay, I guess. Go fish." Kairi threw a card down and reshuffled her hand. "The Changs were kinda cool. They had a dog. But the Petersons were the _worst_. They were vegetarians; no burgers or anything."

"You like dogs huh?"

"Yeah, I wanna get one but Leon say's we don't have enough room and we couldn't look after one anyways cos we're hardly ever home except on the weekends." Kairi grumbled.

Cloud considered his young house guest for a moment and watched the way she studied her cards intently, her small face scrunched up in concentration and a small shot of affection and admiration went through him.

"Must have been tough, all that moving around." He sympathised.

"I got used to it." The young girl replied simply.

"Was it easier because you knew Leon was coming back for you?" Cloud played his card and waited for Kairi's response, her intense, serious eyes trained on her hand of cards as she stuck her tongue out.

"I didn't know Leon was coming back for me. I thought he was long gone. After they told me he'd gone to prison I just assumed he'd never come find me."

Cloud looked up from his cards in shock; the small girl's revelation obviously hadn't registered with her yet and with a soft cough to clear his throat, Cloud replied carefully.

"Leon was in prison?"

Realising her mistake, Kairi looked up from her cards with a worried and strained expression on her face.

"Oh shoot! I wasn't meant to say that." She gasped, fear suddenly rippling under the surface of her gaze. "I'm sorry Mr S, can you just pretend I never said anything? Please don't tell Leon you know, he'll be so mad!" She cried.

"Hey, hey, calm down. It's fine, I won't say anything, I promise." Cloud tried to reassure her, putting aside his hand of cards.

Kairi had discarded her own hand and was sat worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, the pallor of her skin slightly cooler than it had been. With a pitiful moan she placed her head in her hands and let out a soft curse. "Oh shit."

"Hey, Kairi, it's alright." Cloud slid across to her and put his arm around her, his shock and surprise at the revelation only eclipsed by his concern for the young girl. She looked truly distraught, and it was starting to worry Cloud.

"It's not like he made me promise or anything, but I just… I know he hates talking about it and I know he'd _hate_ it if you knew. He's not exactly proud of it." Kairi explained, her own guilt at letting her brother's secret out had surprised her. She hadn't thought she cared that much.

"Look, it's okay. You don't have to say anything else. I won't say anything to Leon and we can keep this just between us, okay?" Cloud offered, a small itch of curiosity still burning under his skin. He was intrigued more than anything else, but he couldn't deny the knowledge was also unsettling. The idea of Leon in prison sent a tiny peel of discomfort through Cloud, and despite all that he had seen of the unlikely family and as much as he didn't want to admit it, the information changed things slightly.

"He's a good guy, you know." Kairi said, recognising well enough the wary look in her teacher's eye. She had seen more than her fair share of adults look like that at her; she knew when people were making their minds up about someone.

"I know." Cloud replied, feeling a little guilty at his own judgemental thoughts.

"He can be an ass sometimes, but he really is a good guy. He came back for _me_." Kairi continued, reminding herself just as much as she was reminding Cloud.

That knot of guilt slipped tighter in the blond's belly and with a small squeeze of her shoulders he smiled apologetically at her.

"Whatever it is he did, it doesn't matter now." Cloud said, remembering the older brunet's words back in the bar on the night they'd first met.

_The start of a new chapter…_

Everyone deserved one, Cloud reasoned, thinking not just of Leon and Kairi.

"I don't know what he did. He won't tell me." Kairi offered, her tone implying she was more than a little put out by that fact.

"Does it matter? Like you said, he came back for you." Cloud offered.

"Spose not." Kairi replied sulkily.

They lapsed into silence for a long time, neither of them really knowing what to say after such a strange and unusual revelation, but with the imminent crisis averted for the time being, Cloud sighed and looked back over at their abandoned game of cards.

"Wanna finish playing or do you wanna watch some T.V?"

"I'm kinda tired; can I just watch some T.V?"

"Sure." Cloud helped her up and watched her settle down on the couch before he handed her the remote and disappeared off into the kitchen to tackle the washing up, his thoughts more than a little preoccupied with the new information about his curious student.

* * *

It was half past ten in the evening and the soft light from the quietly chattering television spilled over the sleeping form of Kairi as a gentle knock came from the door. Shifting her legs from his lap, Cloud stood and made his way across the room, opening the door to find a tired and grubby looking Leon stood on the other side.

"Hey." Cloud offered, opening the door a little wider to let him in.

"Sorry about the time, took me forever to get across town." Leon apologised stepping into the hushed apartment. He took a quick scan and spotted the sleeping form of his sister lying on the couch.

"Don't worry about it. She only just fell asleep." Cloud closed the door and wandered into the kitchen calling over his shoulder as he passed. "Do you want a drink; you look like you're gonna pass out."

Leon tore his guilty gaze from his sister and followed the blond.

"Just coffee, thanks."

Standing awkwardly, hands shoved into the pockets of his tatty jeans, Leon watched Cloud make him his drink, a heavy silence permeating the space between them. They'd not spoken a word to each other since Leon's ill-judged pass at the blond, and the added embarrassment of their current situation was only making things worse.

"Thanks… for today, I mean. You really saved us both." Leon offered, his tone hushed and gentle so as not to wake Kairi. He took the offered mug from Cloud's outstretched hand and tried his best to hold eye contact.

"It's no problem. We had fun actually."

"Still, you shouldn't have had to. I'm sorry, it won't happen again." Leon scratched at the back of his head, feeling a deep shame burn him. They stood in the archway that separated the kitchen from the living room and with a troubled glance to the back of the couch that Kairi slept on, Leon took a tentative sip of his coffee, feeling the weight of the days implications come crashing down on his already bowed shoulders.

"I was thinking… If… if you're having trouble… with Mrs Beaumont, I mean…" Cloud shuffled slightly on the spot, shoving his own hands into the pockets of his corduroy trousers. "I don't mind watching Kairi after school."

"What? No." Leon replied immediately, feeling the shame burn deeper into the pit of his stomach. "No… I mean, you've done enough. I… I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, I'm offering." Cloud tried again, feeling a little braver. He'd been thinking about the idea all evening, and despite his misgivings about Leon and his shrouded past, he really did like Kairi an awful lot. It wasn't hard to recognise their little family was struggling, and it bothered Cloud more than he was willing to admit to. Besides, he had promised himself he would start opening up more. This was his chance to make good on that promise.

"No, really… you already work full time and… don't you have enough of kids by the time you've finished? You don't wanna spent another five hours with Kairi." Leon tried to reason.

"Actually… I do. She's kinda great. I could help her with the work she's missed and it would give me something to do. Plus…" Cloud knew he had to be careful here, he didn't want to end up offending Leon. "You look like you could use the break. You can tell me to mind my own business if you want, but…"

For a spit second, Leon wanted to defend himself with quick anger. He was mortified that his struggles were so obvious and that his capabilities were being questioned. But the blond's next words softened the edges of his brittle resentment.

"You don't have to do it all on your own you know, Leon. I could help."

If it had been just himself, with no one else to worry about or provide for, Leon would have shut Cloud down in a heartbeat. But looking back over at the couch where his sister lay sleeping, he knew he needed to suck this up. It wasn't just about him anymore. The disaster that could have happened thanks to Mrs Beaumont and the debt he owed her was utterly unthinkable. He knew he'd let Kairi down badly and if it hadn't been for Cloud, he'd be looking at a completely different ending to tonight. He owed the man so much more than his acceptance.

"I'll pay you." He finally said, determined that this wouldn't be just another hand out.

"I don't want paying. Just make sure there's food in the house; I'll do the rest." Cloud replied.

"I gotta give you _something_, Cloud." Leon protested, feeling worse than ever.

Cloud looked at the man for a long time, sensing the distress and recognising the pain of failure reflected in his pale eyes. His pride had taken a hit tonight, and Cloud didn't want to add to it. Despite everything he'd learned that evening about the mysterious man, he was sure of one thing: Kairi was right, he was a good man.

"Just… take me back to that beach some time. Just the two of us." He offered, feeling his own cheeks heat with his bold words. He saw how Leon's eyes widened just a fraction, the tight lines around his mouth smoothing out and the barest hints of a smile turning the corners of his lips.

"Alright." Leon nodded, breaking their eye contact to stare down at his mug of coffee. "I'd… I'd better get Kairi home. It's getting late." He stuttered, handing the empty mug back to Cloud.

Leon walked around the couch and bent to scoop Kairi up in his arms, the small girl barely stirring as he settled her comfortably against his shoulder. He followed Cloud to the door, who opened it for him and with a quick nod to the blond he stepped over the threshold into the hallway.

"Thank you, Cloud. I really mean it." He said in earnest as he looked back at the man in the door way.

Cloud nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow then." He said softly.

As carefully as he could, Leon made his way down the stairs, Kairi still dozing peacefully in his arms as he made their way home.

* * *

Leon emerged from the subway just a block from their apartment and felt Kairi stir against his shoulder, the cutting wind making her squirm as she woke from her doze.

"Shhh, nearly home now." Leon cooed softly in her ear as she burrowed down further into the warmth of his neck and he tightened his arm around her back.

Despite the fortuitous way things had turned out that evening, and despite Cloud's help, Leon still couldn't shake the morbid feelings of failure from his thoughts. The fact that Cloud had offered his help and had hopefully made things better for them was a bitter pill to swallow and Leon was finding it hard to accept things the way they were. It felt too much like he was losing his grip on the situation, too much like he was depending on people, and it was an uncomfortable experience. What was happening to his promise to Raine?

The memory of the promise brought a sharp and solid pain to his chest and he felt his hardened heart ache from it. That promise had been everything that had set him on his path through his life and everything he'd ever done was because of it. He'd steeled himself, hardened his skin, and turned his heart to stone to accomplish his one and only purpose in life and now it was slowly falling apart. His weakened walls were crumbling and though he hardly cared about what that would mean for him, his only concern was for Kairi. She was the one that mattered most. If he couldn't regain control and find some semblance of solid ground for them both, she was the one that would suffer and the thought made him breathless from fear.

As they approached the steps to the foyer of their apartment building, Leon's eyes narrowed upon recognising two shadowed figures blocking the entryway. They straightened when they saw him and stood together a little closer to prevent him from passing.

"A little late for her to be out, isn't it?" One of them said, gesturing to the young girl cradled in Leon's arms.

"What do you want?" Leon replied darkly, his heart beginning to hammer against his ribs.

"Just a house call." The man replied, a small smile cutting across his serious face. "And an offer. Mr Hano has a job opportunity for you. Considering your current financial predicament, it might be wise to think about it."

Leon clenched his jaw down hard and had to fight with the cutting retort that sat on the tip of his tongue.

"Thanks but no thanks. You can tell Hano I already have a job. He'll get his money."

Leon clutched Kairi tighter to him and took a step backwards as both men advanced. It was only a step or two but the threat was obvious.

"Mr Hano isn't offering. He's asking." The tall man replied, all trace of the small smile now completely eradicated. "You can expect to see us again, Mr Leonhart."

Leon held his breath as the two men walked by him, one on either side, subtly nudging his shoulders as they passed and he waited what seemed like eternal seconds before he looked behind him to see them drive away. Releasing his breath, he tried to regulate the wild tattoo of his heart and steady his shaking legs.

"Who was that, Leon?" Kairi asked, her voice tired and sleep soaked.

"No one. Just some business." Leon replied quickly, looking over his shoulder again to make sure they had really gone. "Come on, let's get you inside."

With a shaky sigh, Leon took them both inside, letting the door swing shut behind him on the sharp and biting wind and an utterly disastrous night.

"_Oh and if I had a brain,  
Oh and if I had a brain  
I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool  
That turned all those good hearts away."_

Birdy.


	7. Sirens

**A/N: **I don't know how I ever thought this story was going to fit into five chapters! I guess that's what happens when you get bitten by the plot bunny. Anyways, thank you all for being so patient with me while I was away and busy with work. It took me a while to get back into the swing of writing again and my muse is so inconsistent I've had to strike while the iron's hot a lot of the time. Never-the-less, it's written now and I hope you enjoy.

* * *

"Tear me down

Tell me I don't need to fear,

Tell me now

Tell me somebodies near,

'Cause sirens

Sirens are all I hear."

**Chapter Seven:**

**Sirens**

Despite the large roll of cash wadded up deep in his pocket, Leon couldn't help but feel the ache in his chest as he watched his bike being secured to the back of the rusty pickup truck. It only took a few moments, but once the cable ties where secure and the burly man in the NASCAR trucker hat had double checked the ground sheet he'd thrown over the top as a dust cover, he gave Leon a small perfunctory nod and climbed in.

The brunet gave a small wave in parting as he sighed and tried to fight against the resentment that was bubbling just underneath his unassuming demeanour. It was still cold out, but the snow had stopped and the roads and walkways had been clear of ice for a week. Spring was just around the corner and despite the chill that still stung its way through Leon's well-worn sweater, the young man stepped back from the road and perched himself on the steps that led up to his apartment, his gaze cast off along the road his bike had just disappeared down. With his hands laced between his knees for warmth, he gave himself a few moments to pull himself together.

It wasn't really that big of a deal, he told himself. It was only a bike. The money was more important and he'd not sold it cheaply either. There were more important things to worry about, and right now he had a pile of those! Besides, he could always build another one.

But even his rational mind couldn't soothe the bitter ache in his heart and Leon had to bite his lip, hard.

"Sorry about your bike, Leon." A small voice pipped up behind him.

Leon threw a glance over his shoulder to see Kairi stood there, a simple sort of apologetic face staring at him as she mooched down the few steps and folded her arms around his neck. She hugged him briefly, unsure of the strange and grown-up look in his eyes. She didn't understand it, but she knew it had been a sacrifice to sell the bike. What it was for, she had no idea, but it must have been necessary and for that she was very sorry indeed.

"It's not your fault. I can get a new one." He replied simply, busying himself with warming his hands between his knees.

Kairi felt an unusual weight settle on her shoulders and the discomfort was troubling. She'd never had cause to question or doubt Leon before but there was something about recent events that had begun to worry her. She could neither explain it nor put her finger on exactly why or where these feelings were coming from, but she felt keenly that there was something her brother wasn't telling her.

"Is everything alright?" She asked, careful to keep her tone level. Leon looked over his shoulder again; his brows knitted into that frown that told Kairi she was on dangerous ground.

"Of course it is, why wouldn't it be?" He was trying to keep his tone civil, but Kairi knew him well enough by now. Her next question was going to cause him to bristle with irritation, or it was going to cause him to clam up entirely, and the young girl readied herself for either reaction.

"Well, it's just… You loved that bike. Why would you sell it if everything's fine?" She asked, considering it a perfectly reasonable question.

Leon surprised her and reached up to grasp her hands which were loosely clasped around his neck and squeezed them reassuringly. He sighed and turned to look at her, that strange, adult expression set deeply on his face.

"Why don't you let me do the worrying, okay? I promise everything's fine." He said, his words far from reassuring Kairi of anything. But despite her misgivings, she was relieved that he hadn't reacted the way she'd expected him to, and she wasn't about to push him into an argument. She liked him like this, she decided, and even though his secretive and aloof nature was worrying and frustrating, it was better than his brittle temper. She smiled weakly at him, still unconvinced but let the matter go as she tightened her hold around his neck. She couldn't say why, but she was suddenly very sorry for her brother and for the first time since they had been reunited she began to wonder exactly what else Leon had had to give up in order for them to be together, and the feeling left her equal parts guilty and humbled.

The mood suddenly shifted as her brother looked across the street and Kairi followed his gaze to see two neat and well-dressed men walking towards them. She felt Leon stiffen under her hold, his shoulder's tensing as his hand slipped from hers and with a quick jerk he broke free from her grasp and stood up.

"Kairi, go inside." He told her firmly.

"What, why?" She asked, stepping back anyway.

"Just do as you're told." He bit back, that stiff and changeable temper flaring to the surface almost as quickly as it could ebb away.

Kairi's frown was lost on the older man as she scowled at his back, but she did as she was told and stomped off back into the antechamber of the building, secreting herself behind the door and holding it just shy of the latch. Leon had told her to go inside, but he hadn't said anything about not being able to watch. Knowing she was wilfully misinterpreting his instructions, she peeked out into the tiny gap and watched as the men approached, her brother's posture stiffening further as he squared his shoulders and curled his fists.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded, his tall frame dwarfed by the even larger men.

"We told you, Hano has a proposition for you." The bald one replied, his dark eyes flashing and his thin mouth turned up into a smile that Kairi didn't think was anything to do with humour.

"And I told you no." Leon returned. There was a moment that passed between the two men as they gave each other a knowing look before the bald one spoke again.

"I'm afraid Mr Hano's propositions are none negotiable. You're hardly in a position to decline him, so if I were you, I'd do what he asks and think yourself lucky he's even giving you a chance."

"I have Hano's money. I don't need his offer." Leon shot back quickly, refusing to retreat despite the way the two men had crowded in around him.

Kairi may have been young but she was far from stupid. Her stomach was tightening with nerves and her skin prickled with a warning and every fibre of her being told her she was watching something dangerous unfold in front of her, yet nothing they were saying made any sense to her.

"It's a little late for that." The bald one said, reaching into the breast pocket of his large overcoat. He pulled out a medium sized brown envelope, thickly stuffed with something heavy, and held it out for Leon to take only for the brunet to bat it away with his arm.

"I'm not taking that." He hissed.

The warning that bristled along Kairi's skin flared to an itch and in a flash of movement that made her jump and almost let the door slide shut, the two men shoved her brother up the steps, propelling him backwards, causing him to stumble hard onto his ass. The sound of it caused the breath to catch in Kairi's throat and she winced in worry. Just as quickly as they had thrown him down, the bald man reached forward and grabbed Leon by the front of his sweater, yanking him up onto his feet again and pushed him backwards into the wall perilously close to Kairi's hiding spot. The angle made it difficult for her to see what they were doing, but they were much closer now and she could hear her brother's rapid breathing and the small struggle as he tried to pry the huge man's hand from its grip.

Kairi's heart was beating franticly in her chest as she crouched down low behind the door, ready but undecided if she should run back to the safety of their apartment or leap out and defend her brother. She hesitated a moment longer, only to hear the soft and dangerous undertones of the bald man.

"You'll take this and you'll deliver it to the address on the back of it, do I make myself perfectly clear?" He was almost whispering his voice was so low, yet his words were crystal clear. "If I find that you haven't done what I'm asking then we'll come back and pay you and your little sister another visit, understand?"

A small squeak of fear almost escaped Kairi's throat as she listened only for it to get lodged as she slapped a hand over her mouth.

"If you come anywhere near my sister-" Leon managed to grind out, only for the bald man to grip his jaw tightly, his fingers squeezing briefly but painfully.

"Do as you're told and I won't have to."

The bald man let his words hang menacingly for a few more moments before he let go of Leon's jaw and stepped away, pushing the envelope into the brunet's chest. He straightened his rumbled coat, flattening out the lapels before he turned and signalled to his partner to follow him back across the street and like a rabbit that had been set free from a snare, Kairi bolted from behind the door and ran up the tiled stairs to their apartment, only looking back over her shoulder once to make sure Leon hadn't spotted her, before she made it to the first floor landing.

* * *

The low winter sun glinted off Cloud's glasses in a splash of ochre flare, and with a lazy hand he lifted his arm to block the rays of morning light and watched as the playground slowly filled up. The gates were stood wide open, letting the steady stream of parents in to drop their children off, and as Cloud stood to one side, keeping a watchful eye out and a frozen hand around a warming mug of coffee, he found his lips turning up into a small and demonstrative smile. Leon and Kairi approached him, and their shared sullen and broody frowns caused his amused smirk to widen.

"Morning." He greeted them both, his gaze resting a little too long on Leon.

The brunet smiled back, the gesture was weary and his eyes held troubling shadows. The sight made Cloud hesitate for a moment, before the thought was gone again, steamrollered as it always was by the way Leon's crooked lips smirked at him from under choppy bangs.

"Morning, Mr Strife." Kairi chirruped a little sleepily, trying to stifle a yawn. Her breath fogged out behind her gloved hand as she covered her mouth and with a little stretch she turned and looked up at her brother. "Am I gonna see you tonight?"

"I've got an errand to run after work. Is that okay, Cloud?" Leon replied, turning to look at the blond who was caught off guard and realised too late that he'd been staring.

"Oh, uh… yeah sure. That's fine. How late are you gonna be?" He pretended it was the sun in his eyes, making him look down at his feet as he felt his cheeks turn pink.

"Shouldn't be too long. No more than an hour."

"Where are you going?" Kairi asked, her voice edged in what Cloud thought was worry.

"I gotta take care of some things. I won't be long." Leon replied cagily.

Kairi bit her lip, her little brows furrowed and hesitant and she looked like she wanted to say more but before she could even utter a "But…" Leon cut her off.

"I'll be back by eleven, stop nagging, Kairi." He snipped, his words effectively closing the young girl's mouth as she looked down at her shoes sullenly.

"I'll see you both tonight, okay?" Leon said as he turned to leave, nodding at Cloud who returned the gesture. Kairi didn't answer, too busy sulking hard at the pavement and as the brunet left, she turned and kicked a loose pebble away from her, tutting to herself as she stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"Is everything alright with you two?" Cloud asked as soon as Leon was out of earshot.

"Fine, why?" Kairi asked, her sour tone undermining her words.

"Things seem a little… tense." Cloud drawled, watching Leon's retreating back disappear into the crowd.

"Pfft, isn't it always?" Kairi replied, her frown deepening as she followed her teacher's gaze.

"Anything in particular this time?" Cloud asked carefully.

Kairi stood watching the space where her brother had disappeared for a few moments, considering her teacher's question and thought of the strange meeting she'd witnessed the day before – the confusing and violent nature of it – and wanted desperately to be able to tell him about it. But immediately she knew she couldn't. For whatever reason, she was keenly aware that she mustn't let it slip, as she thought of one too many of Leon's secrets she had divulged just recently. But still, the burden of the strange exchange was a curious and uncomfortable worry.

"No. Not really." She lied, hopefully convincingly. She was about to make her way into the playground proper to find Sora and Riku when Cloud's hand on her shoulder stopped her in her tracks. She looked up at him, a fraction of her worry and apprehension slipping from behind her careful mask before she smothered it with her usual taciturn frown.

"Kairi, you know you can trust me, right?" Cloud said, his own brows drawn down in concern.

The young girl felt a sharp pang of guilt. It wasn't often she found someone who could win her trust as easily as Mr Strife had, and even fewer of those people had been adults, but there was an easy and likeable connection between her and the blond man. He made time for her and he listened, and despite the fact that he was a grown-up he gave some pretty good advice; lying to him made Kairi feel terrible. But even all of that was nothing compared to her new found loyalty to her brother, and the realisation was a sharp and confusing one.

"I know." She replied honestly.

Cloud let the matter drop for now and took his hand from her shoulder. He watched her run off into the playground, his own uneasiness far from assuaged as he tried to ignore the flutter of warning that sat low in his belly.

* * *

Leon was waiting for the lights to change and the crowd of people to move off the sidewalk when he saw it. The most obvious looking undercover cop car he'd ever seen in his life was parked on the other side of the road and he'd watched it follow him from Travers T XIII for nearly three blocks. He felt the tension in his shoulders snap tight to almost breaking point, but he schooled his features and forced his posture to relax as he crossed the busy intersection, keeping the three blindingly noticeable cops currently climbing out of the vehicle in his peripheral vision. By the time he'd hopped up onto the other side of the road, they'd closed in around him and he slowed to a stop with a small dejected sigh.

"Can I help you officers?" He asked as casually as he knew how. The two men and one woman looked at each other with small furtively raised eyebrows before the female cop with long black hair, pulled back into a sensible and functional ponytail, cocked her expression back and shoved her hands into her pockets, the movement of her jacket revealing the hidden holster beneath her arm pit. Leon didn't know whether that had been deliberate, but it was handy to know they were armed.

"Who said we were cops?" The woman asked, her voice low and inquisitive.

Leon gave her a meaningful look. "Is this going to take long? I'm late for work."

The young woman gave a nod to her associates and scratched at her cheek with a weary hand and just as smoothly as they had gathered around him, the two men stepped away, retreating to lean against the car they had just climbed out of.

"My name's Detective Tifa Lockhart. I'd like to talk to you about your involvement with the Yuan Triad." The woman said briskly, her tone level and her stare serious.

"Who?" Leon frowned, genuinely confused for a moment.

"The Yuan Triad… Hano and his men." Lockhart clarified for him, the name bringing all of Leon's anxiety and tension back into his shoulders. He shuffled uncomfortably on the spot and cursed himself for the revealing reaction.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Leon replied, eyes darkening as he stared long and hard at the officer.

"Well I'm inclined to believe you do and I'd very much like to know about that package; the one that was delivered to you a few days ago." Lockhart took a step forward, closing in on Leon's personal space and forced the brunet to lean backwards slightly. She was short for an officer, but her presence was none-the-less intimidating. Leon tried not to let the revelation flicker in his eyes. He'd had plenty of dealings with cops in the past and he was well aware of the tactics they used to get whatever information they needed. Evidence was just an after-thought to people like Lockhart.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I gotta get to work." Leon replied sharply, making to walk past the shorter woman. The woman gripped his elbow as he passed, stopping the brunet in his tracks and with a fierce glare, Leon looked down at the hand wrapped around his arm and then back up into her knowing face.

"Be sure you're making the right choices here, Leonhart. A history like yours… you can't afford any more mistakes, especially not when you've got a kid to look out for."

Leon felt his stomach turn cold and heavy. Biting back an acrid and bitter retort, he yanked his arm from the detective's grip. "I've got nothing to say to you."

Walking away, he re-joined the crush of people and only barely heard the woman call out over the din of the early morning traffic.

"We'll talk again, Squall. This isn't going to go away."

Leon waited until he'd crossed a few more blocks before he found the subway station and disappeared into the darkness, the package lodged in the inside pocket of his jacket suddenly a little heavier than it had been earlier that morning.

* * *

Cloud flipped his phone shut and stuffed the device back into his pocket with a thoughtful expression. He'd listened to the message no less than five times already and he was still undecided. It had been a long time since Angeal had contacted him and Cloud felt the old stirrings of guilt as he thought of how he'd driven the man away all those years ago. He hadn't meant to of course, but the residual pain of Zack's death had been far too potent to deal with his dead boyfriend's co-workers and their requests. He knew they'd meant well, only calling to make sure he was alright and managing things, but the truth was Cloud hadn't been managing, and he'd wanted as much distance as possible between himself, Zack's life, and that painful truth. It had been almost eighteen months since he'd last spoken to Angeal, and the longer that silence had gone on, the harder it had been to break it. Cloud had resigned himself to thinking he'd never get back in contact and although that had been a terrible realisation, Cloud had been somewhat relieved. He didn't know if he could handle the good intentions and the hollow sentiments.

The message Zack's mentor had left on his phone, however, had changed all that and with a weary sigh, Cloud knew he'd have to finally face those people from a past that now felt like a lifetime ago.

"Hey, Mr Strife, whatcha thinkin' about?" Kairi chirruped in greeting as she sauntered into his classroom, coat and bag in hand. Cloud watched her shrug herself into the garment, shouldering her backpack, tongue stuck out in that unconscious way she did when she was concentrating.

"We have to make a pit stop on the way home." He told her.

"Where we going?" Kairi folded her arms and lent against his desk, her face neutral and casual as she watched her teacher pack his own bag, shuffling papers and organizing them into folders.

"We have to stop by precinct XIII. I have someone I need to talk to."

Kairi's brows shot up into her hair line, her posture straightening as her heart skipped a beat and with a flash of panic, she cautiously enquired, "Why do you need to speak to the police?" thinking of her brother and the strange and frightening encounter in front of their apartment. Was it possible that Cloud had somehow found out about it?

"I have a friend who works there; he has some things that belonged to Zack he wants to give me." Cloud replied with a small sigh and without looking up, missing the relieved look that rippled over Kairi's face.

"Oh. You mean Zack your old boyfriend?"

Cloud shot her a closeted look, the casual mention of Zack's importance in his life more than a little wounding, before he realised Kairi wasn't really to know any better and hummed a response.

"Was he a cop then?" Kairi asked, curiosity getting the better of her. Cloud nodded.

"He sounds like he was pretty cool." Kairi commented, knowing she'd said something for her teacher to become so cool with her, but she was unable to tell exactly what.

"Are you ready to go?" Cloud asked instead, zipping his bag up and picking his duffle coat up from off the back of his chair. Kairi felt guilty and unknowing why she stuffed her hands into her pockets and nodded her head.

They walked the familiar route home, crossing intersections and dodging traffic, weaving in between slower pedestrians and stopping by the food store to pick up things for dinner before they made a small detour to find themselves looking up at the steps that led to the front doors of precinct XIII. Cloud held the grocery bag in one arm, his other hand occupied with holding Kairi's and after a few moments of silent indecision, the young girl gently tugged on his arm.

"What's wrong, Mr S?"

Cloud shook himself, looking down at her with a strange expression that she couldn't decipher. "Don't you want to go in?"

_No_, Cloud answered in his head, looking back up at the backlit sign, the image bringing so many memories back. He'd stopped by here so many times after work; it had almost become a part of his routine, only for it all to just suddenly stop. It had been five years since he'd last stepped foot in this building and the tidal waves of memory coming back had brought with it were unsettling.

"Miss Kisaragi says if ever you're afraid of doing something you should picture everyone in their underwear." Kairi told him, a small mischievous smile turning the corner of her mouth upwards. Cloud looked down at her again, his troubled malaise broken by her suggestion and with an amused snort he shook his head and immediately felt a little better.

"Thanks Kairi, I'll remember that."

Kairi giggled in return, feeling a small flutter of something in her belly at hearing her teacher's amusement and with an affectionate pull on his arm, she led him up the steps and through the rotating doors into the foyer.

The elderly woman sat wedged into her swivel chair behind the reception desk barely looked up from her typing as they entered, her hooded gaze flicking over her half rimmed spectacles to assess them before they rolled back over the screen in front of her. Her amble bosom rested itself on the desk in front of her, offering her a perch to support her arms on as she typed and with a small scowl her down turned mouth pinched together. "Can I help you?"

"I'd like to speak to Sargent Hewley please." Cloud replied, feeling somewhat relieved that he didn't recognise her. Somethings had changed after all.

"Do you have an appointment?" The woman asked, one sagging brow lifted as high as it would go.

"Well, no… but he called me. I think he's expecting me." Cloud explained.

The woman almost rolled her eyes, sighing deeply into her many chins before picking up the phone and dialling a brief number.

"Sargent Hewley? I have a young man here to see you," she informed him gruffly. "What am I your secretary, what do I know? Come down here and ask him yourself." She replied into the receiver, hanging up without waiting for an answer. "He'll be with you shortly; take a seat." She nodded towards the small bench on the opposite side of the room and went back to work, pointedly ignoring them.

Kairi looked up at Cloud, a hesitant expression on her face and Cloud returned it with his own look of caution before he took the dowdy woman's instruction and sat down to wait. They could see the busy precinct unfold behind the reception desk, its layout open planned and sprawling, divided off from the waiting area by a low wooden partition and after a few moments of waiting Cloud recognised a tall and broad shouldered man approach, pushing open the swing gate in the partition and cross over into the reception. He spotted Cloud immediately and with a surprised expression quickly smothered by a wide smile, he held out his hand for the blond to shake.

"Cloud, I didn't know if you got my message." He said, pulling the young man into a fierce bear hug, squashing the grocery bag between them.

Cloud felt all of the air leave him, expelled by the brute force of Angeal's embrace and with an embarrassed and awkward pat to his back, Cloud negotiated his release.

"I thought I'd stop by on my way home." He explained, stepping back to create some distance between them.

Kairi stopped swinging her feet and stood up, grabbing the odd item that had fallen out of the grocery bag and handed them back to her teacher, watching the giant man out of the corner of her eye with covert interest.

"It's good to see you again. Really, I mean it." Angeal emphasised, placing his broad hand on Cloud's shoulder and squeezed. The blond felt a small amount of his unease and discomfort lift at the sincere gesture, feeling a little less guilty about his self-inflicted confinement from the rest of the world. He'd felt perfectly justified at the time, but his shame was telling and Cloud was well aware he'd been absent for far too long.

"It's good to see you too." Cloud replied honestly.

"Why don't you come through to the back, I have some things I want to give you." Angeal prompted, looking sidelong at Kairi but chose not to say anything. They followed him past the old woman and back through the swing gate, picking their way through desks until they arrived at an office, its corrugated glass windows covered shut with blinds. Angeal shut the door behind them and offered them to sit. As he placed himself behind his desk he pulled up a box from the floor, placing it reverently in front of Cloud and sat back.

"He had a few things left in his locker. I cleaned it out myself a while back and thought you'd better have it."

Kairi watched with curious eyes as her teacher reached out and dragged the box towards him like it weighed of stone, his arms seeming to lack any strength as he lifted it and placed it in his lap, looking inside with tightly knit brows. His eyes seemed to waver, his mouth turning down in a sad sort of smile before he reached inside and picked out a photograph, holding it between delicate, long fingers and with visible effort, he swallowed thickly and placed the item back.

"Thanks, Angeal. I… I had no idea you kept all this stuff for so long." His voice was course with emotion, and although his eyes remained dry, Kairi was certain she could see something welling in his large, expressive gaze, which had become so sad and hurt that she found herself wanting to place her arms around him and comfort him. She resisted, but continued to watch him carefully.

"Of course I did. I could never have thrown it away." Angeal explained, sitting forward and resting his elbows on the desk. "Zack was a hero to all of us. I want you to know that, Cloud."

Kairi watched the struggle pass over Cloud's face at the man's words, content to have been momentarily forgotten by the two grown-ups as she watched the curious exchange. She'd never been faced with any adult who'd been so affected by grief, and the stark and brutal reality was deeply troubling. Adults were supposed to be strong and capable, yet here was Cloud – one of her most stoic and unaffected examples of what it meant to be grown – almost on the verge of real and uncontrollable tears, and Kairi was suddenly afraid.

"I know." Cloud managed, before his throat closed up again and he was forced to take large, equilibrating breaths through his nose. The door opened then, surprising them all and making them jump.

"Sarg… can I grab you a minute?" A man asked as he poked his head around the door. Angeal nodded at him, throwing an apologetic look at Cloud before he stood and excused himself.

"I'll be back in a minute." He promised, following the man out of the room and shut the door behind him, enveloping the two figures in heavy silence. After a long time, Kairi edged towards her teacher, perching on the very end of her seat and leaned over.

"Are you okay, Mr Strife?" She asked gently.

Cloud nodded, his jaw still working hard against the bitter emotion lodged at the back of his throat and with a quick sniff he busied himself with picking imaginary lint from his duffle coat. "I'm fine." He spoke, his voice gruff and thick.

Kairi frowned, annoyed at being lied to so blatantly yet cooled by the obvious distress she found on her teachers face.

"No you're not." She told him honestly, slipping from her perch and walked up beside him. With him sat on his chair, she was almost equal in height and as she put a hand on his shoulder he looked over at her.

"I'm sorry." He told her, his brows furrowing again as he struggled with remaining in control. The simple words told Kairi more than she'd ever need to know about the depth of his feelings for the long lost stranger in that picture. She hadn't given it much thought, but as she stood watching her teacher, she realised that she probably should have done, and the fact that there was so much more to Cloud than she had originally considered sobered her greatly. Quickly, she raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder and hugged him tightly, refusing to let go until she felt the reassuring weight of his arm around her back.

The door opened again and Angeal breezed back into the room, followed by a young brunette, the woman's eyes going wide as they rested on the hunched blond figure and the small child wrapped around him.

"Cloud!" She exclaimed, causing the two to pull away and turn to regard her.

"Tifa." Cloud replied, smiling fondly and standing from his seat, leaving Kairi stood uselessly by the desk as he approached the young woman and embraced her.

"It's been so long." Tifa remarked as Cloud pulled away and she held him at arms-length to get a better look at him. Pulling him into a hug once again she looked over his shoulder and spotted Kairi, her brows drawing close as recognition flashed in her eyes and with a curious frown she broke away and stepped to the side, her reunion temporarily forgotten. "And who's this?" She asked, Cloud turning to look at his small student.

"This is Kairi; she's one of my students I'm tutoring after school." He explained.

"Hi." Kairi offered cautiously, holding out a hand for the woman to shake as she squirmed uncomfortably under the careful scrutiny.

"Hi, you got a surname, Kairi?" Tifa asked her, taking her offered hand and shaking it.

"Leonhart." Kairi supplied, unsure why she felt a small peel of warning in her gut.

The flash of recognition flared to life again before Tifa could smother it, and a strange acuity passed between them: this woman knew her, yet the knowledge was neither troubling nor particularly reassuring but Kairi felt unnerved all the same.

"Huh." Tifa huffed, as if thinking of something. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Kairi."

"Likewise." Kairi replied.

Tifa turned back to Cloud, her troubled frown disappearing as she smiled broadly at him and pulled him into another hug. "I've missed you so much." She told him, missing Kairi's sarcastic eyebrow raise as she watched the two adults.

"I've missed you too. How have you been?" Cloud asked, untangling himself from the woman's embrace.

"I'm good. Got me a promotion and everything; I'm a detective now." She said proudly, throwing Angeal a brief look.

"She's made a fine addition to the team. Got her working on a big case at the moment actually." Angeal offered, standing behind his desk with hands on hips.

"Yeah, about that, sir; I need to de-brief you on the suspect we've been trailing. Do you think I could talk to you for few minutes?" Tifa replied, giving Kairi a side long glance that the young girl didn't fail to notice.

"Sure. We'll have to pick this up another time, Cloud. But don't be a stranger, you hear?" Angeal said, missing the look of relief that passed over Cloud's face as the blond ducked down to retrieve the box of things on the floor.

"Sure, I'll remember." Cloud replied, taking hold of Kairi's hand once again to lead her out of the office, the young girl stopping to pick up the bag of groceries. Once they were all packed up and collected, they followed Angeal out of the office and back through the desks to the swing gate and said their goodbyes. Passing the old woman at the reception desk, Kairi looked up at her teacher and smiled mischievously.

"I think she likes you." She commented, pulling Cloud from his idle contemplation.

"Who, Tifa?" He asked, his gaze briefly alighting on the old woman behind the desk and wondered for a split second exactly who Kairi had meant. He pushed their way through the revolving door and out onto the street. "She's just a friend." He clarified; Kairi's snort of disbelief was his only answer.

"I wonder if she knows she's barking up the wrong tree." She mused as they began the walk home. Cloud stopped them in their tracks and looked down at the young girl, a vague look of shock and disbelief shadowing on his features as Kairi grinned back up at him.

"Okay, that's definitely enough, Kairi." Cloud tried to berate her, his stern reprimand completely undermined by the twitch of a smile breaking out over his face as he turned and began walking again, the young brunette snickering quietly to herself as she followed her teacher back along the cold and blustery streets.

* * *

Leon swallowed down the nervous lump in his throat and squared his shoulders, his grim face set in determination as he pushed open the door to the laundrette and stepped into the steamy heat. He walked quickly past the large cylindrical drums, tumbling idly with air blown sheets and machines sloshing water to and fro, and stopped up short at the counter. A wrinkled old woman hunched over a crossword puzzle sat on a stool unconcerned about his presence even as he coughed subtly to announce his arrival.

"I've come to see Hano." He stated, his voice firmer and steadier than he felt.

"No one see's Hano." The old woman replied, her thick accent a lazy drawl as she licked her finger clean of an ink stain.

Leon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Reaching into his coat pocket he drew out the package he'd been given, placing it on the counter and pushed it forwards. "I think he'll want to see me." He explained.

The woman squinted at the package for a few moments and then glanced up at him, her piercing eyes delving deep as she studied him before she placed her newspaper aside and stood up slowly, her hunched shoulders still pronounced.

"Wait here." She told him as she disappeared through the bead curtain. Leon did as instructed and waited, the moments ticking by painfully slowly before the woman emerged again followed by two men that Leon recognised well. They fanned out, stepping round the counter and cornered Leon against the wall, his glare doing little to impress them as they matched his icy stare.

"I've come to see Hano." Leon told them. The bald one looked him over, his solid frame unmoving as his eyes travelled up and down Leon's frame and then settled on the package sitting on the counter.

"No one see's Hano." He said, reiterating the old woman's words.

"So I've been told," Leon replied dryly, pulling out the wad of cash from his back pocket. "I have his money; we're done here." He told them, holding the roll out for the bald man to take. He took it, looking at it as though it was a curious artefact and carefully he untied the elastic band and counted the money slowly. Once he'd finished, he rolled it back up again and stuffed it into his pocket. "You're still short." He said, folding his hands in front of him neatly.

"No I'm not. It's all there." Leon reassured him, beginning to feel unsettling butterflies circling his stomach.

"You're forgetting interest." The bald man said, his eyes narrowing minutely.

"Interest?" Leon balked, suddenly wanting to be sick. "No one said anything about interest."

"Hano gave you another month. You think he gave you it for free?"

Leon stalled, unable to find the words to convey his disbelief and anger and with a jagged hand, he shoved the bangs away from his face and clutched at his hair.

"But… that's impossible… I can't… I can't get that much money." He stammered, feeling white hot rage turn to dizzying, dancing spots in front of his vision.

"That's not our problem," the bald man replied, smirking slightly, enjoying the brunet's distress entirely too much. He reached out and pulled the package across the counter, placing it in front of Leon and smirked again, relishing in the dark and hate filled glare Leon gave him. "You still have a debt to pay. I suggest you get to work."

"I told you, I'm not working for Hano." Leon shook his head, pushing the package away roughly.

The bald man's smirk disappeared abruptly, his face transforming into a subtle and dangerous mask as he stepped closer to the brunet. The woman behind the counter slid from her stood, disappearing behind the bead curtain and with a quick glance around the rest of the laundrette, Leon realised too late that they were alone in the room, only the sound of the machines droning in the background, and quick as a flash the man had gripped the brunet around the throat and shoved him hard against the wall behind him.

Leon raised his arms, clenching hard to the man's wrist and tried to prize him away, the man's brutal shove only knocking his head into the wall and blurring his vision. All of a sudden, Leon was winded, the man's other fist slamming into his stomach and caused the brunet to double over, a harsh wheeze escaping his lips as the man let go of his neck and grabbed a fistful of his hair instead. With a crushing force, the bald man brought his knuckles down across Leon's face sending him crashing to the floor and before he could even raise his arms to protect himself, he was assaulted by heavy boots, kicking him and stomping on his back and legs. He didn't even have time to yell out before he saw the underside of a shoe come hurtling towards his face and then blackness enveloped him and the pain stopped.

* * *

Cloud stirred as soon as he heard the key turn in the lock, his drowsy brain registering Leon coming through the door and with a quick swipe of his hands over his tired face, he sat himself up and flicked off the T.V. He heard the door shut and watched the shadowed figure of Leon amble into the kitchenette, a curious frown creasing his brows as he wondered why Leon had taken the detour.

"Leon?" He called softly, acutely aware that Kairi was asleep in bed on the other side of the wall. When he received no answer, he stood up and followed the brunet into the kitchen, flicking on the main light and increasing the illumination in the small space. He saw Leon flinch, his back towards him and his shoulders hunched and called his name again.

"Leon, are you okay?"

The brunet turner his head slightly, nodding minutely and even from that angel, Cloud could see his hair was damp with something, his posture stiff and awkward as he rummaged through items on the counter. "I'm fine. How's Kairi?" Leon replied, his voice gruff and strange sounding.

"She's fine. Are you sure you're alright, it's really late… where have you been?" Cloud asked, noting the time on the digital clock above the oven.

"Got caught up. I'm sorry." Leon supplied, reaching out a hand to grasp the towel hooked onto a drawer. The light caught his knuckles and the blood smeared across them, the scuffed and bleeding skin grazed and tattered and the sight alarmed the young man.

"Leon!" Cloud exclaimed, stepping forward and reached out a hand, gripping Leon around the wrist and tugging slightly. The brunet resisted, only a soft hiss escaping between his teeth making Cloud pull harder on his arm and with a little more force, he turned the older man and had to stifle a shocked gasp.

Leon's face was covered in blood, a deep gash across his temple was oozing slowly and a dark contusion was forming along his left cheek bone. His lip was cut and blood stained under his nose, trailing down his chin and neck where another dark bruise was forming.

"What happened?" Cloud asked breathlessly, his eyes flashing with deep concern and worry behind his glasses. Leon ducked his head and bunched the towel up in his hands, dabbing it uselessly at the cut on his temple.

"I got mugged." He lied.

"Holy… Are you okay… did…" Cloud stammered, unsure how to help.

"I'm alright. It looks worse than it is." Leon tried to reassure him wincing as he shifted from one foot to the other.

"Here, sit down." Cloud instructed him, pulling on his arm to follow him out of the kitchen and back towards the sofa. Leon obliged him, staggering the few feet to collapse into the cushions and groaned with the effort. Cloud disappeared again, returning only once he'd found a bowl of clean, cold water and a fresh towel; sitting himself on the coffee table adjacent to the couch he pulled Leon's hand away from his face and took the soiled towel from him.

"Just hold still." He told him, wetting the fresh cloth and pressing it to the cut. As he cleaned the wound, he watched Leon's face carefully; the dark shadows currently hidden under blood and gore and the fatigue glinting in his dull grey eyes. His gaze travelled to the brunet's lips and although they were split and bloody, they were still full and curved the arch of them enticing even in his wrecked and beaten state. Cloud reprimanded himself sternly, frowning deeply as he felt the shame of his thoughts. He pulled the cloth away and began to wipe at the stained skin around the cut, cleaning the gore away as best he could and once the water had turned a dusky pink he finally stopped and pulled back, assessing the damage.

"You want to call the police?" He asked, watching the brunet carefully.

Leon shook his head, something flitting behind his eyes as he replied quickly. "No police."

The response unnerved Cloud, but he had no good reason for it and he really didn't know Leon well enough to push him on it, so reluctantly, he let it slide. Biting his bottom lip, Cloud bunched the towel up between his hands and stared in concern at Leon's beaten face.

"You should probably get stitches for that." He said simply, motioning to the cut that had now stopped bleeding.

"I'll be alright. I've had worse." Leon commented, missing the look Cloud gave him as thoughts of prison flittered across the blond's inner eye.

Leon looked down at his clenched knuckles and watched them with a strange detachedness as they shook subtly. Cloud followed his gaze and noticed too, unsure of how to comfort the man who was obviously still so affected by the violence that had been done to him. His own hands itched to reach out and push away the bangs that curtained Leon's face, but instead, with a nervous cough, he placed the towel back into the bowl of water and pulled away.

"I should… I should probably get going." He said, standing.

Leon looked up at him for a moment, reaching up to grasp his wrist just as Cloud made to move away. "It's not safe for you to walk home. Call a cab or something." He said noticing the flash of worry in Cloud's eyes. He'd let the blond think whatever he wanted; Leon's only concern was Hano. He'd no doubt he was being watched now and the thought of Cloud out there walking home alone made him giddy with fear.

"I can't get in a cab." Cloud told him, a shade of embarrassment crossing his gaze as he looked back down at the man in front of him. Leon's brows creased but he didn't push him.

"Stay here tonight then. It's late anyway."

"But… where will…" Cloud stammered awkwardly, his thoughts flashing to the realisation that there was only one bed and he flushed terribly.

"I'll take the couch." Leon replied, letting go of his wrist and inched back further onto the sofa.

"You can't do that, this is your home." Cloud frowned. "Go to bed, I don't mind taking the couch."

Leon was silent for a while, seemingly turning the blond's words over in his tired mind before he sighed and nodded his head. He stood and disappeared for a moment, returning from his room with a handful of blankets and a pillow and passed them to Cloud.

"Thanks." The blond said coyly. He watched the brunet for a moment as he stood and seemed to be deciding something before Leon levelled his gaze at him and his troubled shadows softened slightly.

"Goodnight, Cloud." He said, smiling weakly before turning and disappearing into the bathroom.

Cloud settled down and listened to the sounds of Leon shuffling about, his own thoughts troubled and confused and even after all the lights went out and the apartment was still, he was a long time falling to sleep.

"_It's raining now_

_Raining on someone's fears,_

_Raining down_

_I heard the rain is the city's tears,_

_But these sirens_

_These sirens are all I hear."_

Tom Odell.


	8. Let Me Get What I Want (A Song for Leon)

**A/N: **This one's a little short. I'm sorry about that, but I promise we're getting to the good stuff now. Enjoy. xxx

* * *

"_Good times for a change  
See, the luck I've had  
Can make a good man  
Turn bad_

_So please please please_  
_Let me, let me, let me_  
_Let me get what I want_  
_This time."_

**Chapter Eight:**

**Let Me Get What I Want**

**(A Song for Leon)**

Tifa Lockhart had been a grade A student nearly her entire life. With the exception of that unfortunate and very brief stint as a cheerleader during high school, she'd focused her efforts entirely on academic achievement and had prided herself on always been able to deliver. It drove her – sometimes to distraction – and Tifa considered it a personal failure if she achieved anything less than one hundred percent in anything she put her mind to. It was just how she was wired. It had led her to many sleepless nights and bleary eyed early mornings, and that morning as she strode into precinct XIII sipping a piping hot cup of coffee was no exception. She glared at the surveillance pictures in her hand, unconsciously weaving her way through the maze of partition walls and desks until she stopped beside her own. Putting her coffee aside without looking away from the grainy images, she frowned deeply and tugged her bottom lip into her mouth, licking off the bitter flavour from them.

"Tifa, what are you doing here so early?" Angeal asked as he emerged from his office, a little startled to see her when he'd assumed he was alone.

"You should know me better than that by now, Sarg," Tifa replied without looking up as she flipped through the photos. Her frown deepened and with an audible tut she threw them down onto her desk and placed her hands on her hips, her stance obviously agitated and troubled.

"What you got?" Angeal asked, his voice louder yet more inquisitive as he appeared at her shoulder. Tifa barely flinched, flipping a strand of hair over her shoulder before she collected it all into a low ponytail and tied it back neatly.

"Surveillance images from the Yuan case. I think I've found our lead, but it's gonna be tricky," she replied, jutting her chin towards the bundle of papers on her desk as she finished tying her hair.

"You picked one of our men to take the lead?" Angeal asked as he studied the images laid in front of him, neatly arranged even in their disarray.

"No, not this time," Tifa shook her head; her short block fringe danced in front of her eyes and she swept it away with an annoyed frown, "I'm thinking outside the box," She handed her sergeant another photo that had been carefully slotted into the back of the folder and let him look it over, "Look familiar to you?"

Angeal frowned and stared harder at the granny image of a young man stepping out of his apartment building with a young child in tow. It was difficult to see from the quality of the picture, but the man's hair looked dark brown and his face held a strangely familiar quality that pulled at the sergeant's memory.

"Vaugely. Do I know him?"

"You should do. That's Squall Leonhart; you arrested him nearly nine years ago for a double homicide. The DA tried to prosecute for two full terms but he was sentenced to eight years for second degree and cleared of the other," Tifa explained as the recollection gradually came back to the older man beside her.

"I remember," Angeal said, squinting his eyes harder at the young girl holding the man's hand, "The kid looks familiar too. Do we know her?"

Tifa rolled her eyes and tutted, grabbing the photograph from her superior's grip and threw it back down on her desk.

"Your memory gets worse every day. She was in here yesterday, with Cloud remember? She's in his class,"

"Cloud knows this guy?" Angeal raised an eyebrow.

"Seems that way, though I didn't ask how well."

"And how does our Mr Leonhart fit in with Hano?" Angeal asked, his brows creased in a faint look of worry as he considered the implications.

"Leonhart's been borrowing money. Now it seems he can't afford to pay it back. They'll have him working for them before long and I want Leonhart on our side before they do," Tifa explained, pausing only briefly to take a sip of her cooling coffee.

"You want him as an informant?"

"You bet. I've already got as many men as I can on the inside covering this thing. I can't chance anymore. I need someone I can afford to risk."

"How are you gonna get him to agree. If I remember Leonhart correctly, he isn't exactly the cooperating type." Angeal asked with a subtly impressed smirk tugging at his lips. He knew he'd picked right in Tifa, he'd never doubted her resourcefulness or her ingenuity.

"Leonhart thinks he's going straight. He's got his sister to look after. He won't run the risk of going back to prison for affiliating with criminals."

"You're blackmailing him?" Angeal snorted, a little amused.

"It's called being creative. He doesn't know we can't do squat. I'm counting on him wanting to do the right thing," Tifa began collecting up her research, stacking it into neat piles and then ordering it into the manila folder.

"You're counting on a criminal to do the right thing?" Angeal asked sceptically.

"I'm counting on a criminal not wanting to go back to prison."

"Pfft, good luck with that. Though I'm impressed, Tifa, really. This is good work," Angeal praised as he nodded his head towards her neat stack of intelligence and turned to leave. Tifa didn't let the compliment go to her head; she had other things on her mind that morning.

"Sarg?" she asked, worry clearly furrowing her brows as Angeal turned back to regard her, "I'm worried about Cloud. I don't know how involved he is, but the fact that he's appearing on our radar at all is bothering me. I'm wondering if we should tell him about Leonhart?"

Angeal thought about it for a while, his deep consideration clearly taking a few minutes to process as he mulled over his subordinates words. He hesitated before answering, hands on hips as he thought.

"Let's just let things lie for now. There's no need to drag him into this if we can help it, not if he's just the kid's teacher like he says. If Leonhart gives us anymore reason to worry, then leave it to me. I don't want any wild cards messing this up."

Tifa looked disappointed, but she nodded her head all the same, uncomfortable with the idea of undermining her boss in any way, despite the fact she didn't necessarily agree with him.

"Just keep your eye on Leonhart and concentrate on Hano. Let me worry about Cloud." Angeal finished, recognising her troubled face. As he quickly adjusted his belt and stuffed his shirt further into his waist line, Angeal left Tifa to mull over his orders as the rest of the early morning shift finally arrived.

* * *

"You know Leon's going to be really angry, don't you?" Cloud said as they crossed the street in a hurry, weaving between stationary cars trapped in rush hour traffic.

"Ugh, I _know_," Kairi moaned, drawing the word out in a long whine of resigned defiance. She huffed as she hopped up onto the other side of the road, slowing down to match the pace of her teacher as they neared home and with a sulky frown she stuffed her gloved hands into her pockets, "I think this time might even be worse than when I ran away," she commented, biting her cut lip and wincing in pain as she forgot the small token of her gallant efforts from earlier in the day.

"Honestly, what the hell got into you, I've never seen you get into an actually fist fight before?" Cloud asked as he held the front door of the complex open for Kairi to pass through into the foyer. He let the door swing shut, the cold no less intense in the concrete stairwell as they climbed up the flight of steps towards the apartment, the young girls pace slow and lumbering as she trudged home, resigned to her fate.

"Then you're the only one," she muttered half under her breath, knowing her teacher had heard her anyway.

Cloud chose not to comment. Instead he let her inside and shut the door, allowing her a few minutes to sulk in front of the TV while he shrugged off his coat and turned the heating on.

"Homework," Cloud instructed, plucking the remote from her still gloved hands and replaced it with her school bag which she'd thrown down by the coat rack on her way past.

"What's the point?" she asked sulkily as she kicked the bag off the sofa, "I'm suspended. I'm not going to be turning it in anytime soon."

"Because I'm your teacher and I told you to," Cloud informed her bluntly, completely unimpressed by her childish behaviour. He left her to reluctantly prise out her school work and disappeared into the kitchen. He'd normally wait for her to finish her work, and then let her help him make dinner; their meal normally prepared just in time for Leon to join them if he wasn't running late. But he wanted some peace to think about how he was going to tell Leon that his sister had been suspended for fighting, and to worry about the consequences it would bring for the already overworked and stressed out man. It was hard enough as things were and Cloud had no doubt this newest development was going to cause significant tension.

The blond alternated between the kitchenette and the living room, helping his young student whenever she called out for him, stuck on one problem or another, sulking incessantly through it all and by the time she'd finished and packed away and they'd eaten their dinner, there was nothing left to do but for Cloud to watch the clock intently and wait for Leon to come home.

He was cursedly on time. Leon's key turned in the lock and Cloud felt Kairi tense beside him. She stopped her nervous nail biting and set her face into a determined scowl, already prepared and ready for the inevitable showdown.

"Hey," Leon called as he dropped his bag in the hallway and collapsed into the armchair adjacent to them, his tired expression falling on Cloud with an affectionate smile before his gaze shifted to Kairi and his eyes darkened, "What happened to you?" he asked, sitting forwards immediately.

Kairi was stoically silent, her face a thunderous display of defiance before she'd even opened her mouth and Cloud raised an eyebrow as he watched her pout. She glanced up at him for help and Cloud's expression widened.

"Don't look at me like that, you'd better tell him," he said, nodding towards the brunet who was watching them with careful eyes.

"Tell me what, what's going on?" Leon demanded, shifting to the edge of his seat, already prepared for all kinds of explanations to come out of his sister's mouth.

Kairi tutted and stared down at her fingers, her short nails digging into the flesh of her scrapped knuckles as she picked at the scabs.

"I got into a fight at school," she said eventually, her tone low and broody.

"What?" Leon deadpanned as if he'd already been expecting it, "Again? For Hyne's sake, Kairi, what was it about this time?" Leon sounded tired and thoroughly annoyed. Cloud couldn't tell properly, but he guessed he was holding back slightly, all too aware that he couldn't much talk after the beating he'd taken the other night. The two of them looked a pair of ruffed up thugs and Cloud felt the corner of his mouth twitch in amusement. _Like brother, like sister,_ he thought.

"It wasn't my fault okay?" Kairi cried, crossing her arms in defiance as she stared at the muted television, "Some guys were saying stupid stuff and they wouldn't shut up."

Leon put his head in his hands dejectedly; his own scuffed up knuckles peeking out from between tousled hair as he clenched his fists in an attempted to control his anger.

"We've been through this before," the brunet sighed, resting his elbows on his knees. He stared at his troubled sister and Cloud could see the pain in his eyes; the desperately tired and angry helplessness. "Didn't we go through this with your last school? You haven't learnt anything, Kairi. If you get thrown out of school again we can't just pack up and move, it's not that easy." Leon's voice was becoming hard, his short lived fuse rapidly coming to an end.

"I know, alright. I didn't mean to, it wasn't my fault!" Kairi shouted back, finally locking eyes with her brother as she stared him down, "They were saying bad things about you and they wouldn't shut up!"

"So you just decided to beat the crap out of them?" Leon was clearly unimpressed despite his sister's honourable intentions.

"They wouldn't listen to me. I tried to get away but they kept following me. I tried to get rid of them like you said but they wouldn't go away." Kairi complained, her tone full of reproach, clearly indignant that even despite her best efforts she's been unable to avoid trouble.

"There's a bit more to it, I'm afraid," Cloud cut in, his own gaze full of apologies for what his next words would do. Leon just watched him and waited for the worst of it.

"Kairi's been suspended. Two weeks," Cloud said eventually, watching how Leon's eyes slid shut and he let his head hang low, his hands slack and dejected between his knees. There was a thick and impermeable silence between them all, Kairi's small body rigid with tension as she waited for her brother's wrath and Cloud's concerned frown deepened as he too waited for a reaction.

"I'm sorry, Leon… I… I tried to-" Kairi started only to be cut off by her brother's low and dangerous tone.

"You, don't say anything," Leon snapped sharply, his words quiet but forceful as he lifted his head and stared at her with a fierce and angry gaze, "Do you have any idea what this means?" Leon asked, his lips almost curling back in a snarl and Cloud winced at the force behind his words, "What the hell am I gonna do now? How am I gonna stay home to look after you all day when I've got to go to work? Do you even think about this shit before you do things like this, do you enjoy fucking up our lives?"

"I didn't mean to." Kairi sobbed and Cloud looked down at his side to find the young girl had quite unexpectedly dissolved into tears, her usual angry defiance melted away to reveal the small child she actually was and Cloud felt his heart twist sharply. It didn't matter what she'd done, not really, Leon's words were too harsh and Cloud felt an immediate need to defend her.

"Hey, Leon it's not-"

"No, I'm sick of this," Leon interrupted, standing abruptly, "Every time I get us back into some sort of a normal life, every time I think we're just about doing okay, you go and fuck everything up. Are you doing it on purpose? Do you really hate me that much?"

"No!" Kairi cried through her tears, shaking her head helplessly as she scrubbed at her face.

"Then why are you making this so hard, Kairi? It's like you're punishing me." Leon shouted, his grubby, calloused hands held out wide at his sides, his face a mess of pain and rage and helplessness.

The small girl just sat and cried, her fingers twisted in her lap as she sat in anguish listening to her brother's words. She couldn't control her own tears enough to organise her thoughts and the power of Leon's anger was overwhelming. She felt crushed by it, unable to speak up, her own pain and sense of injustice buried and unheard beneath his large, booming voice.

"Leon, I think we need a time out here," Cloud interjected as soon as the tension in the room allowed, his soft voice cutting through the uncomfortable silence and the disturbing sounds of Kairi's tears.

Leon sighed and stepped back, turning to face the muted television and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Whatever, just… Kairi got to your room or something," he said lowly and gesturing idly with his hand as he tried to calm himself down.

Cloud watched as the young girl slipped off the sofa and hurried to her room, shutting the door behind her. There was a moment of quiet before both men could hear her dissolve into larger sobs of grief, the strange wailing odd and uncomfortable in the silence of the room.

"I think you might have been a bit hard on her," Cloud cut straight to the chase, his deep affection for Kairi underpinning whatever it was he felt for the older man. He knew the stress Leon was under, but he still hated to see the young girl cry like that.

"Ha, you've no idea," Leon laughed without humour, "That was nothing."

"She didn't do it on purpose," Cloud repeated Kairi's earlier defence, his brows drawing down together in annoyance.

"Yeah right, she never does. It's always someone else's fault," Leon snapped back, turning away from the silent television and ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"Really, Leon. Those boys were bullying her. She was just trying to defend _you_!" Cloud was getting close to losing his own temper and he had to remind himself to stay calm.

"That's not the poi-"

"Think about it for a minute," Cloud began, interrupting Leon before he had a chance to go off again, "All those kids that go to that school, their parents are doctors and lawyers and businessmen. Hell, those kids that go to that school have _parents_!" Cloud let his words hit home and he almost regretted making his point as he watched the pain flitter through the brunet's eyes.

"This isn't the first time she's had to deal with this kind of thing, Cloud," Leon tried to reason, unwilling to excuse his sister's behaviour.

"No, it isn't," Cloud agreed, "She gets this shit every day. Personally I think it's a miracle she's not in the principal's office every hour," Cloud inched himself towards the edge of the couch and softened his voice, "The kids were making fun of the fact you worked in a factory and she defended you. She's not doing this to spite you, Leon; this isn't even about you. It's about Kairi. Maybe if you listened to her you'd understand."

Leon opened his mouth as if to retort – his face dark and angry and his brows drawn down low over his thunderous gaze – but he seemed to get stuck, his words of defence getting lodged in his throat as if he were about to choke on them, and in the silence that followed they could both hear Kairi's muffled weeping.

It felt strange to Cloud to be sat out there arguing with Leon while Kairi was still so clearly upset. He felt an intense need to make her feel better, to reassure Leon and to heal whatever wound had fractured the already broken family.

"I… fuck, I'm trying, Cloud!" Leon eventually said, his tempered gaze sliding briefly to Kairi's bedroom door, "I just… I don't know what she wants."

"She wants what you want," Cloud told him, wanting to slap the stupid out of the man in front of him. He had no idea how anyone could be so blind. The blinkers Leon wore, which got him through each day, were obscuring him from the bigger picture and Cloud could see the damage Leon's one track mind was doing. He needed perspective more than anything. He needed to see his sister as more than just a responsibility.

Leon seemed to deflate. His tense shoulders drooped and his hands hung lax at his sides, no longer curled into tight fists. His face was turned down in quiet and brooding contemplation and his frown was now more thoughtful than angry. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth and with a quiet sigh that was almost imperceptible he looked up and caught Cloud's determined gaze.

"I'm fucking this up," he admitted, his eyes holding nothing but regret as he stared openly and vulnerably at Cloud, "I… I just…"

Cloud's response died in the back of his throat; swept away by the unexpected shifting of Leon's emotions, his own annoyance completely dissolved with the awful naked look of powerlessness on Leon's face.

The older man threw a worried glance towards his sister's bedroom door, as if behind it might lay a pit of vipers, and with a subtle nod of his head and a not so subtle straightening of his shoulders, Leon prepared himself. Shrugging his coat off as he passed the sofa, he threw it down and then gently rapped on Kairi's door.

She didn't answer but Leon hadn't expected her to, and without waiting he went inside, softly closing the door behind him. It was dark inside, but he could just make out his sister's form on the bed, her head buried deeply into her pillows as she whimpered through the last of her frustration.

"Kairi?" Leon called, careful to keep the edge out of his tone. She didn't answer him and Leon took a step further into the room. "Kairi, I'm sorry," he began, truly meaning it.

"Go away," the young girl muttered into her pillows, her tone bitter and resentful.

"We need to talk about this," Leon replied, trying to ignore the painful stab that caught him in his chest with his sister's words. She'd told him to get lost plenty of times, but never when he'd been trying to make amends. Her rejection was hurtful.

"I don't care. You never listen anyway, why bother talking?" she sobbed again, clearly not done with her distress.

"Because I…" Leon swore that he had plenty of good reasons for his sister to listen to him, but none of them felt right. Kairi hated him and Leon knew he'd given her more than enough reasons to, "I'm sorry, alright?" he tried again, sitting gingerly on the edge of her bed, allowing her a little space.

"It doesn't matter. You always say that and then the next time something happens you just start yelling again. You never want to listen to my side; you always just think I'm doing it on purpose."

"I… I know… I'm sorry," Leon was starting to feel like a broken record player. He let the silence between them stretch on and he listened to the sound of his sister's soft sniffles, thinking hard about all the reasons that he had to be sorry. There were so many things, the sheer weight of them crushed him and made it difficult to breathe. He didn't know where to start and the unbearable weight of all of his mistakes made his thoughts tumble from his mouth in an inelegant jumble of words.

"I'm not… I never wanted this, Kairi. I've tried… but you… I can't…" Leon bowed his head and fisted his hands through his hair, sighing in frustration at his own inadequacy. He took a moment to draw a deep and cleansing breath into his lungs and let it out slowly, silently collecting his thoughts and he selected just one; the most important thing he wanted Kairi to know right now.

"I love you," he said quietly and to the floor, listening to his sister as she fidgeted on the bed, clearly attentive now even if she was still facing away from him, "I'm just trying to do what's right for you."

Leon waited for her to respond, but when all she gave him was silence and a cold shoulder he swallowed down the lump in his throat and tried not to let the hurt show. His bottom lip wavered slightly but he bit it, clenching his jaw down hard and his hands together tightly to stop himself from shattering and with a resigned and bitter nod he stood from his perch on the edge of her bed. He dared a small glance at his sister, curled around her pillow as she glared into the darkness, her back to him in silent defiance and he hesitated a moment. _I need to do better, or we'll never make it,_ he thought digging his teeth deeper into his lip. He turned away again and left, closing the door softly behind him and headed straight for the kitchen, unable to face Cloud with his bitter self-loathing still so close to the surface, resting in the corners of his eyes, ready to fall. He braced himself against the counter and let his head hang between his shoulders, his exhaustion completely taking over. He closed his eyes and felt the bitter sting of his tears recede slightly and when he opened them again he was more in control, yet still so completely shattered.

"I… I have an idea," Cloud said behind him making the brunet jump slightly. He hadn't heard Cloud approach and with a careful cough, Leon managed to dislodge the lump in his throat and push down his rising misery.

"What?" he asked blinking a little quicker.

"To help you with Kairi, while you're are work," Cloud continued, trying not to let Leon know he'd seen him so close to breaking, "I have a friend. She owns a flower shop on Atlantis. She could take Kairi while you're at work and I'd pick her up after school, same as always," he continued, noticing the lost and broken look in Leon's eyes shift to that same old resolute granite.

"Cloud," he sighed, crossing his arms, "You've already done too much... I can't…" Leon shook his head, knowing his argument was an old one and that he would have to accept, only because he had no other options left. He loathed himself: being forced to accept help simply because he couldn't control his own life. "...I hate this, you know," he said quietly after a long pause. He felt the air in the little kitchen shift subtly and was surprised to feel Cloud's hand on his cheek, drawing his face up slightly and he found himself staring into the blond's eyes, a deep understanding reflected back at him as he watched the younger man.

Quickly and with purpose, Cloud leaned forward and pressed his lips against Leon's, still cupping his cheek in his warm hand as he lent into the brunet, his fingers shaking slightly against the soft stubble on Leon's chin. He smelt of oil and heat and metal and he felt warm against Cloud's moist mouth, the blond's lips opening slightly to deepen the kiss and encourage the frozen man to respond to him, aware that he'd taken Leon by surprise. He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, but the kiss felt right. He felt Leon's arms loosen and unfold, the brunet's hands coming to rest on Cloud's hips and pull him in a little closer, answering Cloud's silent comfort with his own tentative kiss, his eyes sliding shut as he relaxed and let the taste of Cloud fill his mouth.

Leon sighed in a shuddery breath as Cloud pulled away and he squeezed his eyes closed, licking his lips to savour the warmth left behind as he swallowed down a soft groan of disappointment for the loss of contact. He blinked them open and watched the man in front of him intently, gauging his features and wondered if the kiss had left Cloud as breathless as it had left him. But as much as he ached for the man in front of him a kiss was not going to wash away his problems.

"I…" Leon began with a troubled forwn, his gritty voice getting stuck in his throat.

"Whatever you're about to say, don't say it," Cloud chided, all too aware of that closed look on the brunet's face, "Just let me help. Please."

Leon didn't know what he'd done to deserve Cloud's abrupt appearance in his life, but he'd suddenly never been more grateful. A large, sweeping tide of emotion poured over him and it felt a lot like relief and regret and weakness roiled into one shapeless mass. He had no way to express it so he kissed Cloud again, pushing himself off the counter to take the blond's face between his hands carefully; standing to his full height he pulled the younger man close to him, leaning down just a touch to press his lips against Cloud's.

The blond man reached for him instinctually, pressing his body hard against Leon's as they became a tangle of hands that carded through hair and arms that wound around waists; lips that parted to allow tongues to clash and soft gasps to mingle in the spaces between breaths.

Leon frowned hard into the kiss, breaking away eventually to rest his forehead against Cloud's, his desire obvious in the way his hands were clenched in the folds of the younger man's shirt and his breathing came in short, sharp gusts of need. He felt the shorter man's body tremble against his own and recognised that same longing. He could feel it in the way Cloud's fingers clenched and loosened at the base of his neck caressing the skin there with subtle little strokes.

Cloud's own eyes remained closed, too scared to open them and reveal just how much he wanted Leon.

"Saturday," Leon spoke, his soft voice vibrating the air between them.

Cloud blinked slowly, not daring to lift his eyes straight away and he stared at Leon's lips for a while, taking a minute to register that he had spoken.

"What?" he asked eventually.

"The beach; we could go… on Saturday."

Cloud traced his gaze over Leon's lips and nose following the strong and defined contours of his face, still marred with bruises yet undeniably beautiful, until he met his eyes and he swallowed thickly at the mix of want and anticipation he found in them; as if Leon were waiting for Cloud's permission to breathe. The blond nodded, a thrilling flutter of nerves tingling his skin as he watched Leon's lips curl upwards in a coy smile and he shivered at the sensation, enjoying the heat that coiled in his belly. "Sure," he said, smiling a little in return.

They stood in close and comfortable silence for a while longer, enjoying the nearness of each other, reluctant to step back outside the boundaries that kept them apart. Eventually, Cloud untangled his hand from Leon's hair and slid his fingers down the front of his worn sweater to caress the brunet's chest subtly through the fabric.

"I… I should go," he murmured already regretting the loss of Leon's hands pressed against his back.

Leon nodded his agreement, reluctant though it was.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Cloud ducked his head and turned quickly, picking up his coat and bag from the hallway and shrugged his way into them, mindful all the while of Leon's eyes on his back, the brunet's stare burning his skin even beneath his many layers of clothes. He turned one last time as he reached the door and wasn't surprised to find Leon watching him, arms once again folded across his chest as he casually lent against the wall.

"About Kairi," Cloud began, trying to clear his throat and distract himself from how maddeningly attractive Leon looked, so languid and graceful as he waited calmly, "Go easy on her."

Leon's amused gaze sobered slightly and he nodded in contrition, giving the blond man a sad little smile as Cloud turned to open the door and disappeared through it, leaving Leon alone in the silence of the apartment and the shattering stillness that followed.

"_Haven't had a dream in a long time  
See, the life I've had  
Can make a good man turn bad_

_So for once in my life_  
_Let me get what I want_  
_Lord knows, it would be the first time_  
_Lord knows, it would be the first time"_

Slow Moving Milly


	9. Under Your Spell

"_I don't eat, I don't sleep_

_I do nothing but think of you."_

**Chapter Nine:**

**Under Your Spell**

Atlantis Avenue ran the full length of the coast line, its long curvature hugging the shore as it rolled on for miles and miles, and was the place where land met sea. It was bordered by shops and restaurants, food vendors and souvenir sellers, and dotted along the beach at neat two mile intervals, were five piers stretching far out to sea; their delicate lattice-like legs braced against the crashing winter waves as the ocean frothed and tumbled against the beach.

Salt spray hung in the air and turned the morning winds fresh with sea tang, the blustery winds buffeting against the huddled shop fronts and rattled the awnings and their trinkets on display. It was too early for some of them to be open, and Leon and Kairi trudged, heads down, along the quiet sea front until they came to a stop outside a small and delicately painted eggshell blue shop window.

The sill was faint and flaking, sand blown and encrusted with salt from the bitter spray and the wind, and Leon looked up to check the sign above the beautiful flower display. _Healing Winds_ was painted in faded gold and was elegantly scrawled across the window, and the whole shabby mess appeared quite charming to the brunet who caught sight of a beautiful and delicate flower nestled amongst the leaves of a larger display. He had a moment of utter visceral remembrance and for a fraction of a second he was transported back to his childhood and the image of his mother digging in their garden back at their house in Winhill. She had been planting new flowers, and Leon – who had been Squall back then and no older than five – had wandered over, intrigued at his mother's activities. She had placed a small pot in his hands, a single baby shoot springing from its earthy contents and Leon remembered vividly the way the petals of that flower had folded and curved so daintily.

"_It's a sweet pea,"_ his mother had told him with a small smile on her beautiful face _"They're my favourite."_

Leon had taken his mother's words to heart; he had given her sweet peas on every birthday and every mother's day until she had died and suddenly, with a flash of terrible sadness, Leon was struck with the realisation that he hadn't thought of it again since. All of his years in prison had erased those tiny significant details, and the knowledge that he had simply forgotten such an important part of his mother was heart-breaking.

"Do you think she's in, doesn't look like its open?" Kairi's words broke through Leon's thoughts and he blinked back the memories and turned to find his sister with her nose pressed up against the window, her breath fogging the glass as she cupped her hands around her face and peered into the gloom.

"Cloud said to ring the bell," Leon replied, his voice a little tight.

Kairi reached up onto her tiptoes and pressed the doorbell, the sound buzzing softly somewhere in the back of the shop and after a few moments of waiting, a light flickered on and illuminated the counter.

A young woman with long brown hair, neatly braided came into view and flashed them an alarmingly bright smile as she unbolted the door and pulled it open, stepping back immediately to let them in with a sweep of her hand.

"Hi, you must be Leon and Kairi," she said, her voice light and melodious.

"Hi!" Kairi chirruped back, almost bouncing into the shop and Leon thought with a rueful frown that she was perhaps enjoying her suspension a little too much. The brunet nodded mutely and followed his sister inside, letting Aerith shut the door behind them.

The shop wasn't much warmer than the freezing sea breeze and Leon shuffled on his feet a little awkwardly as the young woman began turning on the rest of the lights.

"Um, thanks," he began hunching his shoulders a little. "For having Kairi, I mean."

"Oh it's no problem; I was pleased for the help actually." Aerith turned to regard her young and newest employee and braced her hands against her hips, staring down at the girl with a wide smile. "I've got a wedding coming up next week and I'm just swamped. Think you can help me out?"

"Sure," Kairi beamed back, excitement clear on her face "Uhh, what do you want me to do?"

"Oh we'll get to that in a bit. First we'd better let your brother get to work."

Leon couldn't deny he felt some apprehension at leaving his sister with a near perfect stranger, but Cloud had said Aerith was one of his oldest friends. If he could trust anyone, he'd take Cloud at his word.

"Are you sure this is okay? I mean, I don't want to put on you or anything." Leon felt the hot coils of embarrassment branded deep into his gut.

"Honestly it's fine. I was just so happy to hear Cloud made a new friend. He doesn't get out much." Aerith replied, an odd sort of shadow falling over her eyes.

"That's not true; Cloud and Leon are going out on Saturday." Kairi interjected. The small secretive grin that crept across her face made Leon think her comment hadn't been entirely innocent as he recognised that devilish look. He felt the hot sting of a flush heat his face and it was only quelled by the subtle realisation that his sister knew more about him and Cloud than he liked.

Aerith looked as shocked as Leon felt, "Really? Oh… well… that's great. I hope you have a good time," she stuttered, a coy smile working its way across her lips.

"It's nothing… we're just… it's…" Leon tried to explain, "We're just going to the beach. There's a funfair on pier five. I thought…" Leon trailed off awkwardly, feeling the eyes of his sister and Aerith pressing in on him far too heavily. "I thought… it might be nice… to… you know…"

"Uhuh, sure," Aerith replied, her knowing smile widening just a fraction. She let the uncomfortable tension hang in the air for only a moment longer before she spared the older brunet and turned back to Kairi.

"So, should I show you around first?"

Kairi nodded enthusiastically and Leon took his chance to duck out and save himself some more embarrassment.

"I'll see you after work, Kairi," he said in parting as he nodded again at Aerith.

The young girl shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she replied dismissing him, their fight still not forgotten or forgiven.

Leon didn't have the time to get into it with her again, so he let it slide, though he couldn't deny that her curt retort still hurt him as he left the shop and began the long walk back along the road towards the subway.

The sea mist had turned a lighter grey as dawn was finally breaking into morning, the small lights dotted along the storm breakers blinking out one by one and Leon felt the uncomfortable and familiar sensation of being followed. He turned subtly and peered through his bangs over his shoulder and instantly recognised the car that slowly trawled along a short distance behind him and he inwardly felt his senses sharpen. It wouldn't be long until the car pulled up in front of him, cutting off his path, and briefly Leon wondered if he could make it to the subway before that happened. Calculating the distance in his mind, Leon sighed and came to a stop, turning purposefully to stare at the driver of the car and waited for her to get out.

It only took a few minutes, but Detective Lockhart eventually pulled up alongside him and rolled down her window, leaning across the empty seat beside her to peer up at the man on the sidewalk.

"Get in, we need to talk."

"I'm late for work."

"I'll drive you. We can talk on the way."

Leon had no real intention of doing any actual _talking_ but he wouldn't pass up the offer of a free ride. Quickly checking the road on either side of him to make sure he wasn't being watched, Leon yanked the door open and slid in, immediately appreciating the warm heaters.

"You need to get yourself a new car. You can tell you're a cop from a mile away," Leon informed her, hunkering down into his jacket and he rammed his hands into his pockets. Tifa eyed him from under unimpressed brows.

"I guess you're the expert."

Leon snorted, far from amused and bit the inside of his cheek to stop the sharp retort that was sat on the tip of his tongue. He looked out at the passing scenery and feigned disinterest and a casual sort of apathy, despite the fact that his insides had coiled with tension.

"You're not fooling anyone you know, Squall," Tifa said coolly after a long moment of silence. It was clear to her that she would have to do the talking, "With this macho shit, I mean. You're not a hardened criminal, and you sure as hell aren't a gangster. Why are you trying so hard to be one?"

"It's Leon," the brunet informed her after mulling her words over in his head for a few moments, "And I'm not trying to _be_ anything. I'm just trying to get on with my life." He didn't know why, but Tifa's words had bothered him. It wasn't often he let other people's opinions get under his skin, but the idea that he was somehow still on the cop's radar - that they still interfered in his life despite how much he was trying – was irksome; it enflamed his mild and ever pervading irritation to something akin to incense.

"By getting involved with Hano; is that how you're trying to _'get on with your life'_?"

"Hano was a mistake."

"No shit," Tifa replied bluntly.

Leon sighed heavily through his nose and bit his lip again, hard. He couldn't believe he was about to defend himself to a cop of all people, but he felt a need to set the record straight. He wasn't trying to hide anything, he just wanted peace; a quiet life, one that he and Kairi could live out together, as the family they should always have been.

"I needed money. Kairi had to move schools again and I'd used up all my savings. Hano said he could help."

"And you believed him?" Tifa asked, not believing him for even a minute. A man like Squall Leonhart didn't just wander blindly into a loan shark's office and blithely expect to walk away without a scratch. He was smarter than that. At least, she thought he was.

"What other choice did I have?" Leon growled, close to snapping.

Tifa was silent for a long time, her reply going round and round in her head before she decided to just say it. She had no qualms about hurting anyone's feelings, least of all Leon's.

"You ever think that maybe you aren't the best person to raise Kairi?"

Leon felt the bolt of pain and anger flash through him so sharply, it actually winded him for a moment; his throat closed up so tightly he struggled to breathe. He winced, visibly, and the action caused him to bite down hard on the bottom lip he was already worrying between his teeth and draw blood. It was a long time before he was able to answer, and even when he did, his voice was small and tight and forced as he pushed the words out.

"Every day."

"So why do you do it?" Tifa pressed, missing the pain and loathing in his voice.

A flashing image of his mother passed before Leon's inner eye and as it always did it made him flinch. It was blood soaked and violent, utterly desperate and even now, after all these years, Leon could feel the fresh wave of panic engulf him, the same as it had done that day. He would never _stop_ remembering how it felt.

"Can we just get down to business; I know you didn't follow me all the way here this morning to talk about my sister. What do you want?"

Tifa smothered a triumphant smile and schooled her features. Men like Leon were easy to read, really, you just had to get them riled up. Knowing what got under their skin was another thing, but luckily Tifa had a file full of irritants to use against Leonhart.

"Hano," she replied curtly, swerving to let an oncoming car pass in the narrow street.

"What about him?"

"I need as much intel on him as you can give me."

"What makes you think I know anything? I just owe him money." Leon replied quickly, not liking where this was going.

"The DA has given my department two million munnies to sink into this investigation. I've had men undercover for nearly eighteen months trying to infiltrate his organisation, and so far we've come up with zilch." Tifa explained, checking her passenger for any signs that her words had made an impact. Leon just gave her a side long glance and raised his eyebrow.

"Well done, what's it got to do with me?"

"I know he's approached you," Tifa said, bringing the car to a halt at the back of a line of traffic. The car sat there and purred in the silence, the soft rumble of the engine humming lowly in the background as Leon stared at Tifa "he wants you to work for him, doesn't he?"

"Let me guess, you want me to say yes, right?" Leon replied dryly, shaking his head in disbelief as he turned away and wiped his top lip with his fingers "Fucking Hayne. You guys are something else, you know that?"

"You're already in way over your head, Squall. I could send you back to prison to finish your parole just for associating with him."

"And you fucking would, too, wouldn't you!?" Leon bit back, snapping his head round to glare at her.

"I'd do whatever I have to." Tifa told him, her own gaze solid and steely and completely unwavering.

"You've no idea what you're asking." Leon growled, clenching his teeth so hard he thought his jaw would snap.

"I know exactly. Don't think I'm playing here, Leonhart. I want Hano and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get him. Now, are you going to help me or not?"

Leon felt that age old gut instinct to resist and push against her manoeuvring. Despite the consequences, he resented being manipulated and he had no compunction to bow down to her demands.

"Not," He replied quickly, snapping his seatbelt off.

"Don't be an idiot, Squall. Think about Kairi."

"You come near me and Kairi again and I'll give you a reason to send me back to prison," Leon warned, his voice deadly and low.

Tifa felt her earlier smugness wearing off as Leon reached for the door handle. She'd thought she had him cornered, yet he was more than willing to call her bluff and the realisation infuriated and impressed her in equal measures.

"Fine, but here, take this; in case you change your mind," Tifa said, pushing her card into his hand as he opened the door.

"I'm not taking that," Leon replied, lifting his lip in disgust.

"Just… take it!" Tifa barked, pushing his hand back and curled his fingers around the small piece of paper "You could need me."

Leon snorted in derision but stuffed the card into his pocket all the same, "Whatever," he scoffed and climbed out, slamming the door behind him. He made the rest of his way to work by himself, his mood dark and troubled and his gut roiling in anxiety and the first tendrils of real and ice cold fear.

* * *

Cloud braced himself and cleared his throat, taking a few uneasy steps to work out the nerves that fluttered in his chest, and to work up the courage to lift his hand and knock on Leon's door. He felt a sickness he hadn't experienced in months flood his belly and as he tried to swallow past the metallic taste on his tongue he realised that he'd been standing out in the hallway for a solid five minutes. The concrete stairwell was cold and deserted, yet he couldn't help feel the irritation with himself that always seemed to accompany his bouts of anxiety. He didn't even know what he was dithering for. He had every intention of knocking on Leon's door, yet the actual act of doing it was causing him the worst sort of consternation he'd experienced in weeks.

_Sweet Gaia, Cloud, just _do_ it already, _he mentally scolded himself. Huffing a short breath of frustration and squaring his shoulders, Cloud unclenched his fingers into a looser clasp and raised his fist to knock against the plywood door. _This is it…_

A few moments later, Cloud was staring into Leon's dark and storming grey eyes, the corners of them crinkled slightly as the brunet smiled at him with a small and affectionate grin.

"Hey," he offered softly, opening the door a little wider.

"I… I'm a little early," Cloud replied, unable to help the gentle curve of his lips as he returned Leon's smile.

"It's fine. I'm ready to go."

Cloud watched and waited in awkward silence as Leon grabbed his jacket off the coat hook behind him and locked up his apartment. They descended the stairs together, their quiet nervous energy palpable as they passed small furtive glances between them, carefully gauging and measuring each other as they eventually passed out onto the street and began the long walk to the coast.

Leon had done his homework. He'd found a short cut through the grid like streets of Twilight City that negated the need for the subway, but it still took them nearly three quarters of an hour to finally emerge down at the beach, pier five spread out before them in a rambling, ramshackle array of amusement arcades, bumper cars, and candy floss sellers. Towering above it all, sitting at the far end and splitting the horizon was a giant Ferris wheel, and it turned in it's slow revolutions as the faint and busy sounds of the fairground music floated above the noise of the crowd.

"We're going to the fair?" Cloud asked with a small whimsical smile on his face.

For a moment, Leon was apprehended with a nervous flutter of worry as he recalled Cloud's aversion to crowds and busy places; remembering his self-conscious admission after they'd stumbled from the subway that first day down by the beach. The brunet winced in silent admonishment and gave his companion a quick evaluating side long glance.

"Yeah, I… is that alright? I mean… I know you said you don't like crowded places… but I-"

"No, its fine," Cloud interrupted quickly, realising with a pleasant feeling of triumph that he was actually excited by the prospect. He hadn't been to a fair in years; the idea of going to one with Leon filled him with a surge of soft affection and quaint charm "It's perfect, actually."

Leon watched as Cloud's face seemed to shift in subtle hues, the tight lines around jaw and mouth from his earlier awkwardness alleviated by the soft spark of excitement in his eyes and for a moment it left Leon breathless. He stood watching Cloud, aware that he had been rendered immobile for the passing of a few seconds, but he found that he didn't care if he was caught staring. His attraction to Cloud was no secret, least of all to Cloud; he felt no shame in admiring him.

The blond felt the weight of the older man's stare and the faint heat in his cheeks as a result. Too often that blush was caused by embarrassment and awkwardness, yet this time it felt nice to feel the flames of his blood heat his face in desire. The pounding of his heart was a steady reminder of his long forgotten lust and he relished in the brief flash of his sexuality.

_When he looks at me like that… Hayne, it's been too long since _anyone's_ looked at me like that, _Cloud thought, daring himself to glance at Leon and convey his own longing – his own acknowledgement that whatever it was that Leon was feeling, Cloud felt it too.

The moment seemed to stretch on forever, and Cloud found that he was daring himself not to look away, a subtle challenge in his tender gaze that dared Leon to be the one to break it. And the brunet seemed to understand him perfectly. Leon's mouth turned up in a sultry smile, half amused and half enticed as he shook his head and looked away, a small chuckle slipping from his upturned lips. He carded his hand through his hair as he attempted to get a hold of himself and with a little jerk of his head he motioned for them to cross the road.

"Come on," he murmured, leading the way as Cloud watched him go, following quickly behind as they melded into the crowd and their pace slowed to a gentle saunter.

They were immediately accosted by a wall of sound and swallowed up by the slowly shifting tide of bodies, tightly packed together as they pushed through, shoulder to shoulder. Once they were through the turnstiles, the crowd thinned out and Cloud found himself regretting his loss of proximity to Leon.

On his left Cloud noticed a face painting booth, a line of children already waiting to get their designs drawn, restlessly tugging on their parent's arms as the adults stood balefully and waited and with a surprised little jolt, Cloud felt fingers gently clasp around his hand, tugging lightly. Cloud turned his head and noticed Leon reaching out to him, motioning him over from where he had wandered off.

"Stay focused," Leon teased him with an affectionate smile, slipping his fingers further into Cloud's hold as he tightened his grip "Don't wanna lose you."

The low winter sun had burned away the morning sea mists and had left the late afternoon bright and dazzling. The primary colours of the fair where almost fluorescent in their brilliance and for once the gentle trickle of the gaudy music and the slow amble of the maddening crowd eased Cloud's nerves and allowed him to relax into the simple embrace. He followed Leon along the pier for a short way until the taller man stopped up short in front of a white and red stripped booth and looked back over his shoulder.

"Whadda ya think?" he asked, eyebrow raised in challenge as he motioned to the piles of bean bags "Think you can beat this guy?"

Cloud took a moment to measure the game up, weighing his chances against the precariously balanced tin cans.

"You know these games are rigged, right?" he asked, digging in his pocket for change anyway.

"Sounds like you're afraid of losing."

Cloud snorted and stepped up to the booth, slapping his money down on the counter and accepted the handful of missiles from the game keeper. He threw them one by one, each bag missing its target in wide arching curves as they disappeared behind the stall and with a wry look, Cloud turned sheepishly to Leon.

"He think's your game is fixed," Leon informed the stall owner as he retrieved the bean bags and set them back on the counter. The owner looked offended for a moment, before he tossed the final bag down onto the counter and rested his elbow there.

"Son, I don't need to rig my games; with an aim like that, you lose just fine on your own."

Cloud crossed his arms in indignation as Leon let out a snort of amusement.

"You think you can do better?" Cloud huffed, stepping aside for Leon to take his place.

The brunet smiled smugly and paid his fare, taking up the first bean bag and threw it directly at the stack of cans, hitting the tower right at the base and knocked them tumbling from their pedestal. He hadn't even needed to use the other two missiles.

Leon turned to Cloud and gloated silently, his lips turned up into a smug grin as he lifted one eyebrow and crossed his arms in triumph.

"That was a fluke," Cloud deadpanned, his masculine honour only slightly dented. Cloud was about to open his mouth to argue further, maybe even insinuate that Leon and the booth owner were in cahoots or something, when a soft, cuddly toy was placed on the counter.

Leon looked at it awkwardly. He'd completely forgotten about the prize and although every part of him was telling him to give it to Cloud, the blond's already wounded pride stopped him. Leon looked about himself, and spotting a crying child being resolutely ignored by his mother, the brunet picked the toy up and wandered over.

Cloud followed a short distance behind, unsure what was happening but his brows shot up into his hairline as he watched Leon give the small boy the stuffed animal. The kid stopped crying immediately and looked up at the tall stranger and then down at the toy in his hands with shocked amazement and Leon smiled softly to himself. Turning to signal to the blond that they should move on, he sauntered off into the crowd.

Cloud caught up to him easily, his slight tantrum over the tin can game forgotten, and he watched Leon out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" the brunet asked after a while of the blond staring.

"Nothing, I just..." Cloud shrugged, struggling to collate the image of the frowning and taciturn man with the one that gave out toys to crying children "I'm learning a lot about you."

Leon stopped in his tracks, his face blank and unreadable and Cloud was unsure if he'd said the wrong thing or not.

"It's good," he clarified, watching Leon's face closely. The older man almost looked sad for a moment before he brushed it off and nodded over Cloud's shoulder.

"What about that?"

Cloud turned and saw the sign for the haunted house, the corner of his mouth curving up into a smile as he turned back and nodded his head.

Leon smiled back and grabbed Cloud's hand, dragging him towards the oddly shaped and crooked house, and by the time they emerged, laughing conspiratorially together with heads bowed inwards in a shared and private joke, it was almost dusk.

"You know what I haven't had in, like, forever?" Cloud asked, spotting a food vendor who sat under the shadow of the looming Ferris wheel.

"What?" Leon asked, following his gaze.

"Cotton candy."

They traded glances and within seconds had mutually agreed that cotton candy sounded like the best idea in the world right at that moment.

"I can't even remember the last time I had this stuff," Cloud replied, that faint smile that had been gracing his lips all afternoon had still not faded and Leon watched it widen slightly as he passed him the stick of fluffy sugar.

"I was five, I think," the brunet said turning to make a path through the thinning crowd to stand at the railings that overlooked the sea. He stopped there and lent against them, carefully plucking small clumps of candy and chewing on them thoughtfully. Cloud came to stand beside him and studied his profile, his own sweet forgotten for a moment.

"Really? That long ago?"

Leon gave him a side long glance, as if his words hadn't really bothered him but now that Cloud was pointing it out, a thoughtful look passed over his handsome face.

"I guess... Things just changed when my mom met Kairi's dad. We didn't really do things like fairs and stuff," he finally admitted, though Cloud could tell it was with some difficulty. He waited a while, unsure if he should voice his next thought, but he'd realised a while ago that he didn't really know an awful lot about Leon and his past. It wasn't that he wanted to pry; he certainly had questions about his time in prison. But while he remained resolved to keep his promise to Kairi, he knew he couldn't directly ask Leon about that. It had to be something that Leon chose to tell him. But there had been a time before all of that. Leon had had a childhood just like everyone else, and Cloud found himself more than intrigued to know what it had been like.

"You don't talk about her much," he offered tentatively. He watched Leon slow in his chewing and quickly swipe his tongue over his bottom lip, idly twirling the stick of cotton candy in his hand as he thought how best to answer Cloud.

"I try to," he finally replied "especially for Kairi's sake. She was really young when they died and she doesn't really remember them. But it's hard, you know?"

Cloud felt a sharp tug of regret and sympathy. He alone knew how hard it was to talk about losing someone. He held nothing but understanding for Leon as he watched him, the setting sun turning the grey ocean ochre behind him. And although he desperately wanted to know how Leon had lost his family, he understood that somethings were too personal to ask. He turned instead and shared the silence with Leon, watching as the sun finally set below the horizon and the dusky waters turned black. The fairy lights strung along the pier twinkled into life and bounced off the choppy waves below them, making the swirling eddies seem like an ever dancing carpet of stars.

"We should bring Kairi back here. She'd love it," Cloud announced, long ago finished with his candy and they stood now watching the lights of pier four in the distance. He'd meant it to be a small suggestion – a throw away comment to fill the comfortable silence between them – but Leon's reply had him filling with bashful pride as he felt his cheeks heat and his loosely clasped fingers tighten.

"What you've done for me and Kairi... I… it means a lot to me, Cloud. I don't think I could have made it this far without you."

"You were doing just fine before I came along."

"No, I mean it," Leon pressed, turning his body sideways and scooting a little closer to the younger man "If you hadn't... I mean... Without..." Leon trailed off into a mildly frustrated silence and looked down as his arm that was bracing his weight against the railing.

With a small and affectionate smile, Cloud saw all of the difficult things his companion wanted to say but couldn't find the words for. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. Without even having to say a word he understood what Leon was trying to share with him, and suddenly, that huge, seemingly suicidal decision he'd made all those weeks ago to let someone else closer to him didn't seem like the terrifying idea it had done after all. With his faith renewed in his own autonomy, Cloud reached across and slipped his hand into Leon's. Tugging the brunet round to stand shoulder to shoulder with him once again, and he ran his thumb over the knuckles of Leon's hand soothingly, trying his best to convey his own silent meaning; a gesture of support and solemn understanding. _I'm pleased I'm here too._

A flash of brilliant light shot up into the sky and exploded in a shower of glittering rain, and a small popping bang crackled across the bay in its wake. Another one, straight and sharp like an arrow followed in its wake and turned the cloudless sky a faceted orange, illuminating the faces of the two men as they watched the fireworks lift off into the night and soon the air was alive with colour, vibrating and humming with each explosion.

Cloud found himself fascinated, craning his neck to watch as the comets and Roman candles lifted into the sky. He felt a weight settle over him and turned his head, only to realise that he was being observed and with a self-conscious twitch of his lips, he ducked his head and went back to watching the fireworks.

"It's rude to stare y'know," he commented, his words holding only faint amusement.

"I know," Leon returned, his tone soft and affectionate, edged with a deep burr that Cloud thought might have been desire.

The blond felt his insides quiver, that light pleasant flutter of excitement and anticipation making his legs tremble and his fingers tingle. It had been so long since he'd felt this, Cloud though it might have been forever, and he welcomed its return with a giddy fever.

"Cloud?" Leon asked, turning sideways again but still holding tightly to Cloud's hand, forcing the younger man to turn as well.

"Yeah?" Cloud's eyes immediately slipped to Leon's lips as they stood almost nose to nose, only the faint sea breeze and the scent of the night between them.

"Can I kiss you?"

Cloud let the question hang in the space between them for a few moments, his heart beat hammering wildly in his chest.

"Yeah," he all but whispered, nodding his head slightly in eager agreement.

Leon reached up and gently removed Cloud's glasses, folding the legs and slipped them into his coat pocket, all the while never breaking eye contact with the younger man who was staring back at him with an open hunger. He put his hands back on Cloud's cheeks, letting his thumbs gently caress the skin there and moved his fingers up, tracing the bridge of his nose and out over his brows, eventually carding away the bangs that danced back and forth in the wind. Finally, framing Cloud's face with his reverent hands, Leon lowered his mouth and placed it against the blond's, immediately soaking in the heat of his skin and the taste of cotton candy on his lips.

The sky behind them continued to burst and crackle with colour, dancing with shimmering explosions, and Cloud reached up and mirrored Leon's affections, threading his fingers through the hair that tumbled around his shoulders and gripped the back of his neck, pressing himself closer as he deepened the kiss.

It lasted for forever, and when they finally pulled apart just far enough to stare comfortably into each other's eyes, Leon found himself breathless all over again. It made him feel uncomfortable, and despite his growing feelings he understood that note of caution that rang in the back of his mind.

"Is this going to be a problem?" he asked, still softly stroking the side of Cloud's face "With Kairi I mean."

Cloud swallowed hard and gripped tighter to the collar of Leon's jacket. "I don't want it to be," he admitted, tracing the line of Leon's mouth with his eyes "I doubt my boss would be very happy, but I'm pretty sure there aren't any laws about teachers dating parents."

Cloud looked almost blasé, but the worried and earnest look in Leon's eye sobered him again and he dropped his hands to Leon's waist, resting his fingers in his belt loops and pulled him a little closer.

"I need to know, before this goes too far," Leon couldn't do it; he couldn't let himself fall for Cloud only to have to end it.

"I… I want you… I want _this_, is that what you mean?" Cloud stammered, wondering exactly what Leon was asking of him.

The taller man looked lost for a moment, his eyes bright with something close to pain as he looked at Cloud, but in a second it was gone and he was solemn once again. He nodded, knowing full well he couldn't expect Cloud to make any promises he couldn't keep.

"I want you too, I just… everything's different now. I have Kairi to think about. I need her to be okay with this."

Understanding finally dawned on Cloud and he nodded, ducking his head and breaking the brunet's contact. Leon's hands fell to Cloud's arms squeezing him ever so slightly.

"I get it," Cloud replied, feeling a little foolish "I guess we should ask her."

Leon stepped back and took Cloud's hand again, pulling him into step beside him as they walked the length of the pier and back towards the city.

The fireworks had stopped and the night sky was black and quiet once again.

"You should probably have your glasses back," Leon said, pulling them from his pocket and handed them over.

Cloud smiled and took them, enjoying this new closeness and familiarity they now suddenly shared. They walked in companionable silence for as far as they could go before Cloud had to leave and turn west towards his own home and with a quiet sigh he stopped and looked up at Leon.

"Thanks for today."

"You're welcome," Leon replied, his own small smile of contentment gracing his lips.

"I guess I'll see you next week?" Cloud offered, not really wanting the night to end. Leon nodded and bent to place a kiss to the side of Cloud's mouth, the action only small and subtle but Cloud closed his eyes briefly and savoured the contact.

They parted and walked home alone, separated, and each one wanting desperately to turn around and walk back to the beach and that pier.

"_You keep me under your spell_

_You keep me under your spell."_

Under Your Spell - Desire


End file.
